How to Handle Failure

What a timely article :-)

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How to Handle Failure
by Rick Warren

Sometimes it takes a painful experience to make us change our ways. Proverbs 20:30 (GNT)

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No one’s life is an unbroken chain of victories. We all experience setbacks, defeats, losses, and failures. Nobody bats a thousand. We all make mistakes.

Since failure is common to all of us, one of the most important life-skills you can learn is how to respond to it. Mature people know how to turn every failure into a learning experience, a stepping stone for future success.

The first thing to do is to analyze why you experienced failure. Although there may be a variety of reasons – many out of your control – here are five common causes of failure:

· When we don’t plan ahead – As the old saying goes, “If you fail to plan, you’re planning to fail.” Proverbs 27:12 (LB) says, “A sensible man watches for problems ahead and prepares to meet them.” Remember, Noah had to start building the ark long before it started raining!

· When we think we’ve “arrived” – Remember the lesson of the whale: just when you get to the top, and you start to blow– that’s when you get harpooned! Proverbs 16:18 (GNT) says, “Pride leads to destruction, and arrogance leads to downfall.” In other words, the man who gets too big for his britches will be exposed in the end.

· When we’re afraid to take necessary risks – The fear of failure can cause failure. We worry about what others will think of us if we fail, so we don’t even try. Former U.S. football player Fran Tarkenton says, “Fear sets you up to be a loser.” We fail to take advantage of golden opportunities. “Fear of man is a dangerous trap” (Proverbs 29:25 LB).

· When we give up too soon – Many times, success is just around the corner. Remember, the game is often won in the final seconds. If at first you don’t succeed … you’re normal! Keep on keeping on! The value of a postage stamp is found in its ability to stick to one thing until it gets there. “A lazy fellow has trouble all through life” (Proverbs 15:19 LB).

· When we ignore God’s advice – The Bible is our owner’s manual for life. It is filled with practical instructions and guidelines for work, home, finances, relationships, and health. When we fail to follow these, we’re asking for trouble. “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death” (Proverbs 14:12 NIV).

But remember failure is never final unless you let it be!

If you’ve experienced failure, here are some steps for starting over:

· Accept responsibility for your own failure – If you’ve made a mistake, admit it! Welcome to the human race. Don’t blame others. “A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful. But if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance” (Proverbs 28:13 LB).

· Recognize the benefits of failure – For instance, it shows you what doesn’t work. The great inventor Thomas Edison said, “Don’t call it a failure. Call it an education!” Failure forces you to be more creative.

· Failure prevents arrogance and egotism – If everything you did was a stunning success, no one could live with you! It causes you to re-evaluate what’s important in life. Failure is one way God gets us to reflect on the direction of our lives. “Sometimes it takes a painful experience to make us change our ways” (Proverbs 20:30 GNT).

· Ask God for wisdom to understand the cause for the failure – Ask, “Why did I fail? Is there any reason I might have set myself up to fail?”

· Forget the past and focus on the future – Your past is past! It’s water under the bridge. You can’t change it so you may as well stop worrying about it.

Brothers and sisters, I can’t consider myself a winner yet. This is what I do: I don’t look back, I lengthen my stride, and I run straight toward the goal to win the prize that God’s heavenly call offers in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14 (GWT)

Be encouraged!

The Irony

What does one do when he/she is sick?
- usually go seek a doctor's advice on medication right?


What does one do when he/she wants to get a license to drive?
- usually get a driving instructor to teach him/her how to navigate the roads, use the car and eventually get the license to drive (ie. be certified as a sensible, proficient driver with the knowledge to use the vehicle in a safe way in minimizing danger to himself/herself as well as other road users)

So what does one do when his/her relationship with his/her partner starts to be drifting/strained?
-usually they turn to their best friend or most accessible person next to them! hahaha Now, what makes that best friend/most accessible person the most appropriate person to "help" with the situation other than providing a source of relief, a listening ear?
Wouldn't it be more useful to seek some professional advice?

However, most would chose NOT to do so. Sadly, in that painful, long drawn process, many hearts are broken, many hurtful words are spoken, many irreversible damages are done which to me, most if not all can be avoided under the appropriate professional care.

We all fulfill different roles in our jobs, for some they are excellent engineers, for some they are excellent doctors, I'm sure there are excellent counselors out there who can and will help us bridge our humanly gaps when we need to, help us understand/point out the pitfalls in our relationships with another person.

So why do we still chose to avoid going the professional way when we see a clear danger sign ahead?

Here's the irony which I truly do not understand... perhaps i'm dense....

Loving Difficult People

Loving Difficult People has always been a challenge for me, there are just some individuals that stick out of my reach, their practices, way of life, value system, ethical values and yet I cant throw away the years of friendship that has been formed before these differences caused a wedge between us. Its good to have some guidelines to live with when facing these difficult people. Now its a matter of putting that into practise! ;-)

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Loving Difficult People
by Rick Warren

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18 (NIV)

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When asked what he considered the most valuable skill in employees, the financier John D. Rockefeller replied, “The ability to get along with people!”

One of the most important skills we can develop as we walk with Christ is knowing how to love troublemakers. If you learn how to interact with difficult people, then you’ll be able to pour your energy into areas of ministry rather than constantly putting out fires of conflict.

Here are four methods Jesus modeled when he encounter difficult people:

1. Realize you can’t please everybody. Even God can’t do that! Refuse to play games (Matthew 22:18).

2. Learn to say no to unrealistic expectations. Confront them by “telling the truth in love.”

3.NEVER retaliate (Matthew 5:38-39). It only lowers you to their level.

4.Pray for them (Matthew 5:44). It will help both of you. Let God speak to them.

A sweet gesture

I was helping out at ADEX with Dive Junkie over the weekend and there's this gentleman who made a really sweet gesture that is deeply engraved in my mind. He has a gentle nature and a sweet smile, tanned and semi-blonde hair due to the expose to seawater.

Over the three days, this gentleman came over to our booth to purchase our apparels and wore them the next day! We had great fun asking him to stand infront of our booth to take pictures of him with our apparels. :) hee....

On the last day, again he came over and purchased yet another tee shirt while wearing OUR tee shirt, I cant resist but to ask him to take another photo with our booth again.

After taking his solo shot, he whipped out his camera and wanted to take a picture with ME hee hee... (cos i'm the self-proclaimed BEST sales person on the sales floor...)

He said that he'll email me my shot! Yeah!

At the end of ADEX, while everyone was madly packing away, I was hidden away in the store trying to organise our stocks, suddenly a head popped into the store and it was HIM! He came to say goodbye! Just for me! So sweet hor?

These days, everyone is so involved with their own lives, they dun make the effort anymore to have a personal relationship with each other. Emails, sms feels cold while a face-to-face, over the phone feels warm. I'm touched by this very sweet and heartwarming gesture, which reminds me that I should have a more personal relationship with those around me too!

(now I hope that I look GREAT in that photo hahahahahaha)

Come & Find ME!

Its an exciting time for all divers again!!!

Time to look for great deals, hunt for the best diving spot around the world and time to listen to some of the very experienced divers who can find you something interesting underwater, take the most gorgeous underwater photography eg. Michael Aw, renowned underwater photography who organised numerous trips to discover new species, lead a few campaigns to save our marine life.

Its called ADEX! happening NOW! Suntec City Convention Hall 602-603.





Why am I so ON about this??? Not because I've been soaking myself under the sun too much, but rather, I've fallen in love with the Dive Junkie casual wear! They are so comfortable! Color lasts me 4yrs already and its still going on BRIGHT (mind you, I throw them into the washer & dryer to wash them hee) Their collars will NEVER stretch, their prints are always fashionable. What more can one ask for in a tee shirt?

Plus they've got NEW designs in exciting colors! Sunset orange, Atoll, Kelp... sounds so delicious already, how can anyone resist?


Check out their website NOW!

Vote for Me (friend)

KFC had a photo competition which wanted contestants to submit photos of how they "give in to the moment". Following this theme, me and a few of my very sporting friends spent 2 days, invested quite abit of our food allowance to craft out what we felt was our "giving in moment"


which one first?
(was my entry)

but it din get picked! :( *bleah*

However!!!! My friends' entry did get picked!!! *hoorray!*

So now, in order for my friend to win grand prize... ALL must vote for her!

Vote for KFC03 titled "Eat first! Pay later!" by clicking here to link to KFC's site.


But you'll have to sign up as a member first in order to vote....

By voting, you'll get a chance to WIN 32' LCD TVs!! (i want!)

you can vote ONCE daily! So please help me friend WIN the grand prize... i'll tell u when she does ok?

There's an old saying that goes "help a stranger everyday, make your day brighter in every way!" Help my friend to win and she'll be eternally grateful! (ok, I made up that saying... but doesnt it feel good to know that you are of help to someone whom you dunno? TRY IT!)

VOTE for KFC03! Now!

Jenad's Tirumisu attempt!

Are you wondering where is the end product??

It was so delicious that we forgot to take pictures of it!! Yummy!!! Must do it again!

But this time, we'll be more prepared to get a bigger espresso coffee maker... I had to boil like 10times! *tired*

But most definitely well rewarded with a yummy dessert!!

Yeah!

*success*

Daily Manna

Daily Manna from the 'Net for Tuesday, April 8

Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat--for he grants sleep to those he loves. Psalm 127:1-2 NIV

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I like this passage, because its a reminder to me that God makes all possible! Even the impossible. We must go on believing in Him, all things are possible :)

Erosion of Social Morals...

One day we saw a full page newspaper feature on Maia Lee (ex-Singapore Idol finalist). The whole page feature showed her in many different poses of her pregnancy as well as the every increasing, colorful tattoos.

Without reading the contents, what comes to your mind?

Mine was: are they popularising that its OKAY to get pregnant without being married to a guy? (plus also the fact that its darn cool to be covered in tattoos....which in my father's times, only meant for ah bengs, ah lians and those who has experiences of being jailed and also sailors for protection in the sea....)

NOW? not only tattoos are being popularised as fashion statements.... (permanent fashion statement? hahaha I thought that the word fashion refers to something that changes with times? oh well)

It seems like pregnancy outside wedlock is no longer "shameful" but OK!

Personally, if the couple is mature, willing and able to take up the responsibility of the child's upbringing. its OK. Because the child's well being is not being compromised.

HOWEVER, if one person does it ONCE and again? Does it mean that its ok to bear many children without being married to a man? What happens to her kids? Different fathers? Do they all end up as a big happy family? Or does it normally result in some bad blood between the parents/step-parents? I'm referring to the general majority. I'm sure there are a few rare cases where the child grows up perfectly secure, contented and are completely happy with who they are. But many, will end up as bitter children who have to bear with the burden of not having one of the parent's attention/love & upbringing, imparting of values, morals, ethics. Many will grow up thinking that its OK to have premartial sex because that's how they came about. The cycle grows...

So I asked the question: Is the trend of this erosion of social standards inevitable?

Or can it be reverse?

The response I got was: like the global warming issues, melting of the glaciers, these are inevitable events, we are just trying to slow down its processes.

*sigh*

If that is the case, then what would YOU do? Would you fold your arms to let the erosion of the social values take place before your eyes? Would you be an advocate of the values to strengthen the "system" to slow down this erosion process? Would you take it up as a cause, fight it till your last breathe?

What would you do?

Thank You Garmen!

Yeah, I feel like I can cope with the rising cost of living again!

Because our garmen has just deposited our ERS $$ into my bank!

The world is wonderful again!

I can afford to the pay the higher bus fare, higher mrt fare, higher cab fare, higher cost of rice, noodles, bread, butter, sugar, salt, water, electricity, oil, milk, cereals, milk powder etc etc....

I had the shock of my life today when I tried to hunt down a healthy drink for elderly. It contains all the daily supplements needed for my mum since she's in her 70s and needed all the calcium, iron, etc etc

Guess what? the price of 1kg went up by S$3.30!!!!!! That's alot lor! *faint*