Thursday, August 31, 2006

beauty or brains

i recall long time ago, i witness how some pretty girls would use their beauty and the sheer fact that men will oogle at them get their way around. including extending datelines, getting free rides, getting cheap/free deals, getting a job done....

i used to detest their way of managing a project/matter. it feels like they are just sliding through and not actually contributing fully or deserving of what they have.

Often persons who employ such tactics know full well that they will get their way around by being sweet n dainty.

being a tomboy, i cannot tahan such behaviour and told myself not to be like them.

its almost a shame of being a woman.... where's our pride, dignity or brains??

i prefer to use logic aka brain power to solve most issues with other men and realise that men dun like girls with brains! they feel threatened and as a result will use their brute force to simply tell you NO.

is this natural selection?

its easier for women to get stuff by acting dumb while men may have a stronger need for dominance .....

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

remarks and reactions

was sharing something with a friend recently, he told me something which stood out like a lamp-post on a dessert.

imagine if you have had migrains/gastric/terrible cramps constantly.

these are symtops which does not surface 24/7 but when it does, it severely disrupts our daily routine, sometimes even our long term plans for work/family/friends.

this friend took a closer look at me and commented that "you look so healthy to me, do not look like you are in any discomforts at all".

at that instant, I felt a sharp knief stubbing into my chest....

I cannot understand why would anyone want to be suspicious of me giving an account of what's happening and what's to come for me. Its not like I enjoy dumping time/effort/money in an area which no one likes.

another alternate view of the comments could be that this friend meant it to be a supportive/complimentive statement rather than having doubts.

well, either way, only the person who spoke it will know its true intentions.

This is a classic case of "speaking without harm, listening with intentions" (說者無意,听者有心)

whichever the case, I felt hurt for a moment, felt doubted for a moment, felt like a stranger for a moment. whether these negative feelings were more due to the comments or due to the not-so-good-mood that i was in at that point in time, i'm not sure. but it serves to remind me not to make such comments regardless of the situation to a person who just confide in me about his/her condition.

remarks can have its intented or unintended reactions....

we can chose how to react to whatever intended or unintended remarks either....

saying goodbye

sent Proton in today.... my mechanic refused to tell me when he's going to drive it to the scrapeyard, i guess for fear that I'll tail him to see the last of my trusty Proton....

tears were in my eyes at the thought of saying good bye... its a pity that he's too big to hide in my pocket or be wrapped up in my arms. would have loved to hide it secretly or give it a huge hug.

after saying goodbye, travelling doesnt feel the same anymore..... driving another vehicle feels weird. the steering wheel feels weird, the angle at which other vehicles can be seen feels weird.

I cant drive like a gangster anymore .... since Proton was so old, no other vehicles want to come close to us hee.. cos if they kiss us, they lugi big time! ha ha ha

many a times, other vehicles look at us like as if we're useless piece of junk on the road, but Proton and I show them what's POWER! ha ha ha....k lah, our maximum speed limit is 90kmh, its pretty useful if other road users were at 60-70kmh....
we always had fun racing with other irritating drivers who tailgate us, flash lights at us, horn at us, simply because we're slow in pick up, shoddy on the outside.

It kinda show how "good" Singaporeans are on the roads....

its pouring cats and dogs now. cant help but feel another tinge of sadness.... its almost as if the sky is also having a teary farewell for Proton....

a grey final farewell.....

saying goodbye wont b easy...

will be dropping Proton off at the workshop early in the morning.... saying goodbye wont be easy....

was on the phone with my trusty car mechanic to discuss the timing and he asked if I would cry.... thinking about it, tears swell up in my eyes.... it kinda shocked J even... ha ha ha....

i guess, my mind is also occupied with fighting other wars these days.... so Proton is not getting as much attention as it deserved.... poor thing...

got to look my best tomorrow when I take out for one last spin....

*sob*

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Party for Proton

in the spirit of celebrating the good work accomplished by our trusty Proton, we threw a party for it! hee....

as many of you may know, its not quite possible to fit the car into our house for the party... and we cant really have a party without the car......so we brought the party to the car hee....

enjoy the photos... we sure did enjoy ourselves at the party of the year! ha ha ha......


can you guess where the party was held?? ha ha ha













we'll be sending Proton in on wed... so if you spot us around during the next 24hrs... you'll get a free ride! ha ha ha....

Saturday, August 26, 2006

sleepless in TP

sigh.... had a terrible time trying to get to sleep last night

had a really unpleasent encounter with a guy last night. he was raising his voice and gesturing lots while I was trying to talk to him nicely over some terms and conditions.

After a few minutes, even my good tempered friend M cannot tahan his rudeness at a lady and told him to speak calmly and not raise his voice at me. He took a few deep breaths and told us that he was calmed down. So we continued our coversation, before long, he started raising his voice again.

This time, he could be heard from the lift landing where R n T were walking from. They were shocked at the display at the loudness and rudeness. After another 10mins, R told this guy to speak nicely to a lady. R told the guy that he was being watched for the past 10mins and he has yet to say any pleasant sounding words from a man to a lady. Again this guy raised his voice with R and shouted many things across, I can hardly figure out the contents when body language showed that this guy was nudging forward towards R. M was in between the two of them and trying to keep them apart.

It was intense boy.....

I did not realise that this guy was being rude to me... I guess I was used to his mannerisms and behaviour over the past few months.

I had a few sleepless weeks thinking about last night... because it was an unavoided moment to come.... I really dread it. I go to bed feeling really tired and yet my mind would be thinking about how this guy would respond/behave etc..... I get headaches thinking about it during the day as well....

finally last night came and went. After all the shouting and voice raising ended around 945pm last night, I had a snack with R n T and reached home at 12ish.....

considering that I woke up at 7am in the morning.... I should be drifting off to bed by that time... yet my eyes were wide open. I tried to distract myself with watching tv and reading.... finally I went to bed at 3+am... and my mind was filled with the voices, the shouting, the mannerisms, the body language, the unpleasent encounter with that guy... I COULDN'T sleep AGAIN!!! aiyo.... I really thought I was alright.... when I also felt my heart racing.... I was not on any medication, the only reason I can think of is this guy!!!

*SIGH*

could this be considered emotional torture?

Bumped around at LTA

was at LTA trying to sort out the paperworks for scrapping my trusty Proton.....

firstly, I went to the website to look for a number so that I can call them..... found it after some navigation because they dun really have a direct line for scrapping car on behalf of a deceased.... who knows that i've to do a transfer of ownership first right??? I'm a newbie remember???

So after searching around I finally found the 1800 number and called LTA, after routing through a few officers, they told me that the person-in-charge was engaged and they'll call me back within one working day.

It was a thursday 12pm noon..... I did not receive anything till fri, I called the same number again, I got the same reply, I decided to be patient and continued to wait..... finally, monday morning, I woke up really early and decided to call again, finally got through to someone who is willing to talk to me about the case..... 3.5working days later.....

The lady on the line tried to answer my questions... which were simple...

situation:
car due to be scrapped on 31st August
registered owner is recently deceased overseas
death certificate is from overseas
awaiting high courts' award of the letter of authorisation for the excuetor of the estate

Qn: What do we do to scrap the car on the 31st August?
Qn: What are the paperworks that needs to be produced for that action?

The lady thought about it for a while and she told me to bring the death certificates personally to the LTA office in Sin Ming Road for their officers to access if any other documents were required or that was sufficient....

So I did.....

I reached the road junction showing directions for LTA along with Vicom and some other associations... halfway through following the sign boards, the LTA logo was not together with the previous organisations. I drove around in circles for a while before making a reverse turn into the lane with the signage for the other organisations, only to discover that LTA was there as well.

I find it hard to believe that the signage to LTA can be unclear... how can we expect the rest of Singapore roads to be clearly labelled???? *sigh*

Quickly ran into the lobby, to be greeted by a short queue of about 4-5 persons at the information counter, this serve to issue queue numbers for the various counters for the many reasons why people would come here.... there were numerous counters on both sides of the information counter to service the crowd, looking at the signages there, I could hardly figure out which counter I should go towards.... So I stuck it out at the information counter to make my enquires....

The lady behind the desk was an experience lady, she quickly told me two names and the counter number to head towards on level two.

HUH? level two??? Where's the stairs or lift??? I can only see counters after counters on both sides.... she pointed towards her right and I followed that direction and realised that I actually went half way round the building. So I'm directly behind the information counter! Interesting design.....

Took the stairs and started looking for counter 39/40 and the officers behind those counters (like those in the bank....), I cannot find the names matching to those whom she mentioned... and in her hurry, I only caught one name... I thought I had made a mistake... so I approach that counter to explain my cause there and seeked help.....

The lady behind the counter was unable to offer much advice and directed me to another lady standing behind her. So I had to repeat my story all over again. This time, this lady kept telling me that if I want to do a transfer of ownership, I'll have to go downstairs to get a new pin. I asked what's the paperworks involved as this was not between two living persons. And I'm not the executor of the estate, will the excuetor be required to personally go and scrap the vehicle and sign the document ets.... she just said yes, bring the vehicle down any time before the 31st August if we want to do that. If after the 31st August, we have one month to process the paper works and submit the scrap papers and the car needed to tolled to the scrapeyard....

so i thought that was it.... and went back downstairs, feeling about lost and confused, unsure which counter downstairs to ask about the transfer of ownership and the scrapping etc....

I was wandering around at the different counters downstairs, trying to match the queries that I have to the headers on the signages and I could not figure it out.... so I headed for the information counter again. The same lady was determined to set the records straight and asked me to approach another two officers on level 2, she specificially asked me to ask:
"How do I scrap my dad's car if he's deceased?"
"What are the documents required?"

I showed her the will and she told me that that would be sufficient. So like a headless chicken, I dashed upstairs again, trying to hunt down SOMEONE just someONE to tell the the procedure!!!!

I spoke to a Mdm Lim and she took the COE certificate with the due date and went to punch the particulars in.... and confirmed that its due on the last day of the month... yeah... I know, its stated there..... hello??? did you listen???

I told her the whole story of my dad's overseas death, official letter from high court not available, do we need to submit a lega letter to scrap the vehicle? Must we use the excuetor on the will?

She ducked behind some boarded up office desk to check with the de-commissioning officer and came back after a couple of mins and said that if we bring the car into the scrapyard before 31st August, we'll have to do a transfer of ownership, which will require legal documents to transfer the name from dad to bro.... but if we bring the car into the scrapyard AFTER 31st August, then we do not need to do the transfer of ownership... just need proof of kinship to the owner... which I figured i can do since i've brought my BC with me even.

but the lady at LTA was more interested to tell me to go off... no need to show anything or leave any documents behind....

strange... i'm going to take their word for it and let my mechanic do their job... if they run into any problems... i'm so going to ask some folks.....

Thursday, August 24, 2006

red tape frustrates me

i was at the HDB office trying to get a season parking ticket for my car which as barely 9 days left of life span on earth.... and guess what???? RED TAPE!!!!

My car had season parking for the HDB lot near my house for the past 2years, due to the recent SF trip, I decided to put the vehicle in a private parking area during that time which will also make it easier for anyone to access the vehicle from the family. So I went to the office to cancel the season parking and I got a refund for the remaining of the "unused" month.

When I got back from SF, half expecting the vehicle to be gone by then as it seems that the paperwork to decomission it is thick as a result of my dad's overseas's death, fortunately or unfortunately, we get to keep the vehicle till end of the month. So I had to go back to the HDB office to get the season parking for the remaining of the month. Guess what????

They do not pro-rate the season parking!!!

I was shocked!!! I almost jumped out of my skin when the officer told me that I had to pay S$90 for the remaining of the month which has barely 9days!!!!

He told me to provide PROOF for the time that the vehicle was not in the season parking area while I was away in SF.... *scratch head* shall I ask a non-existent security guard to write a letter stating that the vehicle was indeed in a private housing????

So he said, well, we can write an appeal letter and submit it to the officer-in-charge and let him decide if the appeal for pro-rate is approved.

Of course I wrote the cow n bull story of how my car is in the private estate and we had realised that its only going to be scrapped at the end of the month and so I took the vehicle back.....

After providing the dates and address of the private estate, the officer approved the pro-rated season parking for the vehicle.

imagine if I am not well educated, I cannot write in english, would I be able to make an appeal? most folks I see in the queue were so scared of the "law" that they'll just meekly agree with whatever terms and conditions that these office set.

Why would the office make such a rule? Just allow that fellow to pay for the season parking at whichever date he likes. Not as if he's running from his responsibililties. Besides, the contracted-ticketing-officers will be super vigilant to catch whoever neglected to have a valid season parking. So why make it so troublesome to enforce non-prorated for someone who wants to park in the lot? In addition, this person has to come down to the office itself to make the payment etc, don't you think that it's troublesome enough for them to take time off their work to do so???

The 2nd most irritating thing about purchasing the season parking was, the officer at the desk also told me that I had to purchase the next month's worth of season parking with my pro-rated ticket.

HUH???? I showed him the expiry of my COE and he did not even binge.... he said rules are rules...

So now, I've paid for a season parking until end of september which i will NOT be using and will HAVE to return the "unused" ticket at the office AGAIN!!!!

simply a waste of time and resources.....

Sunday, August 20, 2006

She's Her Own Twin

She's Her Own Twin
Two Women Don't Match Their Kids' DNA -- It's a Medical Mystery

Aug. 15, 2006 — - Lydia Fairchild was a proud mother who faced the most unusual of challenges. She had to fight in court to prove the children born from her body were her own. "I knew that I carried them, and I knew that I delivered them. There was no doubt in my mind," Fairchild said.

Fairchild's fight for her kids began when she was 26-years-old, unemployed and applying for public assistance in Washington state. Everyone in her family had to be tested to prove they were all related.

The Department of Social Services called Fairchild and told her to come in immediately. What Fairchild thought was a routine meeting with a social worker turned into an interrogation. The proud mother was suddenly a criminal suspect.

There Must Be an Explanation

"As I sat down, they came up and shut the door, and they just went back and just started drilling me with questions like, 'Who are you?'" Fairchild said. The DNA test results challenged everything she knew about her family. Yes, her boyfriend was the father of the children, and, yes, they were all related, according to the DNA, except for Fairchild. She was told she wasn't the mother.

Fairchild was certain a mistake must have been made, but she recalled a social worker saying to her, "Nope. DNA is 100 percent foolproof and it doesn't lie."

Fairchild was not only denied government assistance for her young children, she was now suspected of possibly acting as a paid surrogate mother and committing welfare fraud. She was in danger of having her kids taken away for good. Fairchild said before she left, the social worker told her, "You know, we're able to come get your kids at any time." Fairchild began to panic. She knew they were her kids. So she rushed home to search for photos of her pregnancy and found her children's birth certificates. She told her parents, who couldn't believe the test results.

"I thought she was joking but then she started crying on the phone. I said 'Oh, it's got to be a mistake. I was there when the kids were born. I saw them come out. I held them in my arms, you know,'" said Fairchild's mother, Carol Fairchild. "I almost went insane inside. I couldn't imagine why if this could happen, my daughter is not a liar," said Fairchild's father, Rod Fairchild.

Fairchild called her obstetrician, Dr. Leonard Dreisbach. He was there for all the births and assured Fairchild he'd vouch for her in court.

"I would have told them that she certainly had these three kids, and that they were hers, and that I don't know what's wrong with the DNA testing, but I know that she had the kids," Dreisbach said.

But none of that seemed to matter, because DNA tests were considered infallible -- the gold standard in court. DNA showed that Fairchild's genetic makeup did not match that of her children.

To eliminate any chance of human error, new DNA tests were ordered from different labs. It was an agonizing wait, but the results were the same: The children weren't hers.

Fairchild knew then that she was close to losing her kids. After three court hearings, she said the judge looked at her and told her to find a lawyer.

Battling in Court

It was another uphill battle in the courtrooms. Most of the attorneys Fairchild turned to were not willing to fight DNA evidence.

Attorney Alan Tindell finally agreed to take the case, but he questioned her extensively about her connection to the children. "These aren't your sister's children? These aren't your brother's children? You didn't abduct these children from anyone?" Tindell said that given how adamant Fairchild's answers were, he decided to believe her.

But Fairchild and her family remained frightened, fearing a knock at the door at any moment. So they made plans to hide the children from authorities.

"Getting that summons in the mail to go to court, that they were trying to take my kids from me, my stomach just went into a big old knot. I just started crying, and I called my family, and I held my kids and was scared," Fairchild said.

"I'd sit and have dinner with my kids and just break out crying. They would just look at me like, 'What's wrong, Mom.' They'd come get me a hug, and I couldn't explain it to them, because I didn't understand," Fairchild explained.

Fairchild was in a tough spot, up against a government that thought she was at the very least a fraud, with foolproof scientific evidence weighing against her.

But then she got a break. Across the country, there was another woman with DNA that didn't match her children's, but in this case, the doctors had cracked the medical mystery.


Another Woman, Same Story

In Boston Karen Keegan had received a chilling phone call from her doctor. It came during a very difficult time in her life, just as she needed a kidney transplant.

Keegan recalled what the doctor said to her: "Mrs. Keegan, we have some unusual news to report to you. We've never had this happen before, but your children don't match your DNA." That revelation came after her family members had had their blood tested for compatibility.

"Any child from a mom and dad should inherit genes from both the mom and the dad. In Keegan's case, it appeared that her two boys hadn't inherited any of her DNA," said Dr. Lynne Uhl, a pathologist and doctor of transfusion medicine at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston. "They weren't hers. So we scratched our heads and said, 'This is really unusual. How can this be?'"


Boston doctors asked Keegan the same type of questions that had been asked of Fairchild in Washington They asked Keegan where her two sons had come from, since their genetic code was not the same as hers.

"They wanted to know the name of the hospital where my children were born. They had some other thoughts, like perhaps this was some kind of in vitro fertilization or even worse, that this woman just might not be completely telling the truth or even be psychologically unbalanced in some way," Keegan said.

Keegan's doctors investigated the case further.

"It was a medical mystery. Certainly there were individuals whom we ran the story by who said, 'There must be a skeleton in the closet," Uhl said.

Doctors took DNA samples from all over Keegan's body. They tested her blood, her hair and swabbed her mouth. Still nothing matched her sons' DNA. But Keegan had another idea.

Keegan told Uhl that she'd had a thyroid nodule removed a while back.

After an extensive search, doctors found a sample of her thyroid tissue saved in a nearby lab in the Boston area. According to Uhl, this piece of tissue was the key to solving the medical mystery.

The DNA that would match her sons' DNA could have been anywhere in Keegan's body. But her thyroid was where she matched her sons' genetic code.

The mystery was solved. In a way, Keegan was her own twin.

"In her blood, she was one person, but in other tissues, she had evidence of being a fusion of two individuals," Uhl said.

It's a rare condition called chimerism, with only 30 documented cases worldwide. In Greek mythology, "chimera" means a monster: part goat, part lion, part snake.

In human biology, a chimera is an organism with at least two genetically distinct types of cells -- or, in other words, someone meant to be a twin. But while in the mother's womb, two fertilized eggs fuse, becoming one fetus that carries two distinct genetic codes -- two separate strands of DNA.


The twin is invisible, but for chimeras the twin lives microscopically inside the body as DNA.

When Uhl told Keegan she was her own twin, Keegan said she was shocked. "You wouldn't imagine that that could even be possible."

Still Fighting to Keep Children

But what did this new discovery mean for Lydia Fairchild, the woman living across the country who'd been fighting to keep her children?

The state was still so suspicious of Fairchild that when she gave birth to another child, a court officer stood in the delivery room to witness an immediate DNA test.

"They took DNA from the baby and myself right then and there, after birth, and it came back that there is no way possible that baby is mine," Fairchild said.

Even though they'd witnessed the birth, officials believed she was acting as a surrogate, possibly bearing a child for money.

Fairchild's attorney was determined to solve the mystery. That's when he came across Keegan's chimera story in the New England Journal of Medicine.

"I asked the judge to postpone the case until these tests could be done," Tindell said.

After the tests were done, there was proof that Fairchild was her own twin as well. The judge finally believed Fairchild was the biological mother of her children and dismissed the case.

"I probably wouldn't have my kids today if they didn't discover her situation. They wouldn't have known to even consider me as a chimera," Fairchild said.

If not for Keegan, Fairchild said she might have lost her family forever.


Copyright © 2006 ABC News Internet Ventures

Procrastinate or Avoidance?

yes, I've been shelving the blogs intended to share about the funeral and the wakes for my dad. I'm not sure if it was procrastinations or avoidance of the whole episode. It was very unpleasant to see someone you love dearly (but often fail to express that emotion physically or verbally) lying still in an enclosed box. Knowing that it will actually BE the last time that I can see dad physically from the box broke my heart. It still feels so unreal.... 2 months down the road. How can this actually be true I often ask myself.

Bringing the body of dad home on a wednesday evening was like a mini-victory of getting through red-tape across two borders with minimum hassle, just alot of money spent (which that that point in time, we had no idea how we are going to pay for it as 2nd bro had volunteered the first 15K, we'll need to sort out how to pay him back.....). But I knew that money was the least of our concerns, it was more important to give my dad a peaceful setoff, that equates to his contributions during his lifetime.

Dad has been a great man.

He has been a man of his words.

He has been a pillar of strength towards his family and friends. He will never say no to anyone in genuine need for help.

He was extremly resourceful and calm-minded in handling any crisis or tricky situation.

I was told by our hometown relative that she measures one person not by how many worshipper/bootlickers they get during their lifetime, but by how many people coming to their funeral/wake during their death. It made sense to me and I made special efforts to observe for myself how true this is.

We arrive in Singapore late wednesday evening and was told by the Singapore Casket that it will take them about 2hrs to clear the customs and bring Dad's body back to the Singapore Casket. So we booked a time at 8 or 9 or 10pm I cannot remember to gather all family members (including extended uncles, aunties, cousins etc) at the Singapore Casket to perform a simple Buddhism chanting rite for Dad and also mainly to allow all he love and all who love him see him for the first time... coming home.

It was phenomenally emotional session, as expected, we had to make sure that some aunties (dad's sisters) do not faint or get overly agigtated during this time. Strong arms of strength was lent from my cousins who stood by like body guards, they have an important mission to keep the crowd under control.... So more Manpower was arranged around those higher potential folks...

Dad had a change of shirt has it was stained during the GZ moving, he was still wearing the suit we got for him from the GZ casket. He had to be transferred to a new coffin as the standard frieght one that he came home in was too big for the cremation "entrance". (yes, it was an absolute "waste" of money in my opinion as the frieght coffin cost S$4k, why dont they make two sizes for frieght? One for people who wants to be buried, so any big dimensions would be okay; another for those who wishes to be cremated? its not just the money that is wasted, I felt that its a poor use of resources, imagine all the effort, labour and more importantly raw materials used to make the coffin, after 2days it will be discarded??? what happend to all the deforestation, poor tree-renewal projects, global warming issues?)

Eldest bro bought pearl for Dad, it was to be place in his mouth and all around his body, bro bought a whole bag of it so everyone present had opportunity to garnish Dad with some pearls. Am not sure the real significance of placing pearl in Dad's mouth but in a separate environment, eating pearl powder is suppose to have calming effects on the person, so that the person will not feel Frightened in a new environment, it was a standard practise for newborne babies to take some pearl powder after a week of their delivery as they are entering a very foreign "outside" environment for them as compared to the warm, fuzzy womb that they were created in. So in this respect, I guess, putting the pearl in Dad's coffin would have similar meaning... calming his soul as he's entering a new world. I sure hope it helps him as much as helping those who believe in this practise feel that they've done something for Dad after his gone.

Dad was covered with a nice warm-looking blanket and I was told that each of his younger siblings should also purchase a blanket for him to cover Dad, so that he can feel their warm and love. By the time my aunties and uncles realised that they have to do that, the shop selling these items in the Singapore Casket was closed. So it was decided that the blankets will be placed on Dad on the day of the cremation instead, at least that will give them more time to source for something that they really liked instead of subjecting themselves to monopolisitic merchandise in Singapore Casket.

The chanting begun shortly after all our relatives saw Dad for the first time, cried their eyes out, tissue boxes were passed around, hands were held to lend support, glances exchanged to show concern and we all stood around Dad for the chanting session. As the chanting progresses, you can see most relatives sobering up, tears were dried up, hankies were kept, they were begining to fidget more restlessly. I guess the process of chanting does help one to get through the initial shock of grieve and provide a time and space for our minds to process the situation. It gave everyone a chance to "talk" to the deceased silently in their minds/hearts and allow them to make peace with him/her. It was certainly an useful exercise as I can witness the transition of strong grieve to slow acceptance during that short hour of chanting. I suppose knowing that Buddhism scriptures were read out on behalf of Dad to ease his journey into the unknown world helped to relieve some of the worries on their minds.

After the chanting, relatives gathered more freely to discuss and find out the stories behind his death. Water was distributed out to everyone to replenish the water-loss. During this time, I stood by Dad as I was not interested to repeat the "stories" or to join in the chatter. I just wanted to take a good look at Dad, to remember him, to be with him. One by one aunties and uncles came by to say some of their own heartfelt words to Dad. Dad was the 4th brother to the rest of the 11 children in the family. Being in a big family, there were often lots of swabbles and fights amongst them, Dad's peace-loving nature often put him in the mediator position and being a rational person, he seldom take sides and often is able to resolve their differences. Dad has earned great respects from his siblings for many kind deeds that he did.

Many of dad's siblings grew up during the times of WWII, they were about 7-9years old when the world ended, when the Japanese handed-over to the English. Many children who were previously enrolled in schools went back to schools to continue their education. Unfortunately, two of my aunts missed all the enrollment dates/times due to poor family background and war timing. When our family was doing better after the war, when our family could afford to send these two aunts to school, they were already over the age limit. Many schools rejected their application as they were simply too old to join primary one and too illiterate to join the older classes. Dad went down to the school and made appointment to speak to the Principal personally. Dad was able to convince the principal that the moral behind education was Education. If they had denied their chances when they could afford to study, it would affect the rest of their lives. Education is to equipped a person with skills and knowledge, if that is not a main criteria, then why set up a school in the first place. In his heart-felt plead with the principal, my two aunts were finally able to attend school, to learn how to read and write, to learn math, to learn about world affairs and not be lagging behind their peers.

It might have been a minor action on Dad's side to see the principal to plead with him, but its consequences were severe. It had affected the lives of two young ladies for their future ahead. None other elder siblings saw that need to plead with the principal nor made the effort to do something about it. It was Dad who saw the true value of education that prompted him to make it happen for my two aunts.

At my Dad's coffin side, one of the aunts who could attend school because of Dad came by and told Dad that she'll never forget what he has done for her. It was a meaningful experience for me to hear that from my aunt. I can continue to feel proud of Dad even when he's no longer around because I know that he has done something good.

Next, my youngest uncle came by to talk to Dad, he kept asking why he left so early, if only had a few more years. It was the first time i see and hear my uncle display such brotherly love. I could not help but feel that I failed in my duty as a daughter to preserve my Dad's life longer for him to enjoy a few more good years with his siblings, children and grandchildren. I couldnt help but wish that it was all not true. I wished that it was all a dream, a nightmare that Dad would still be around us.

Dad made alot of sacrifices in his youth. He was a happy young man, attending school like every other child in his age of 11. One evening, my grandfather lost his entire business at the gambling den and life was changed forever for Dad. Dad had to stop school to work along with his older siblings so that they can support their youngers siblings. Dad had to quit school which he so very much loved and enjoyed and go out to learn a skill to feed his younger siblings. Together with grandfather, Dad and his 3 elder brothers worked day and night to make ends meet for their family. I do not know if Dad ever complained about his hardship but the Dad that I knew always told us, "What to do, family is more important and self. You got to do what is important."

With that, Dad worked for the next 55years of his life. For his family, for our family. He had taken less than 10 major holidays with us inclusive of the malacca, KL, genting, he's only been to china a few times, Japan once, Taiwan once, Melbourne once, south koren twice, thailand and bintan more often for business trips. He had to work 7 days a week, 18hours a day when he was younger and he seldom complained. Instead, he looked for a chance to continue his education through night-schooling. It was very popular to have night-schooling in those days (as most would have missed proper schooling years and with a need to feed their families, night schooling became the best option to obtain a PSLE-equivalent cert, N- or O- or even A-Levels were possible then).

Yep. That was how mum and dad met. at the night school. Dad would often miss his classes as he's got lots of OT at work. So mum being the helpful neighbour cum classmate would cycle by his house and give him his assignments and test dates. What impressed my mum most about Dad was his steadfastness in learning and wanting to be educated. He would often miss classes because of work, but Dad never used it as an excuse to avoid submitting his homework or skip a test. In fact, he would attend all the classes whenever there was a test or an assignment due. (impressive huh??? would melt any girls' heart right??? that was how mum got hooked lah.....)

The most impressionable encounter they had was during an essay writing competition, mum being a hard-working student had often performed better in class than Dad. Both mum and dad took part in this national essay writing competition, mum was surprised that dad did better than her during the competition. Even though dad's essay did not win him the first prize but he won a merit award wherease mum's essay was just a credit. Dad's essays was written with alot of hard-earned working experience and hence won the judges heart with his maturity and writing skills.

Dad's passion for learning continued on after becoming a parent, when english became the mainstream language in schools and our education system, Dad strived hard to learn how to read and write english perfectly. I was a young kid then, I remember how dad would sit down on his writing table each night, take out his english assignment books, open up the exercise books with 3 blue lines on it and Dad would practise writing each new word on his exercise book. He would only stop when he's happy with his very manuscript-like handwriting. He would also play english-learning tapes on this hand-held player and repeat after them. Whenever, I go up to him, I must be like 3 or 5, he would have a gentle smile on his face and a twinkle in his eyes. It was cute watching Dad study. It made me want to study hard like him too.

*bleah* cant upload at youtube

wanted to share this really heartening video of Baby A and his giggly ways through youtube and I cannot even past the first page of form-filling.... sick!

now my plans to video-blog is compromised...... *bleah*

Last 11days .....

*SIGH* in another 11days, I'll lose my most trusty mode of transport... my proton, I've wanted to do a de-comissioning party for it as it has served me and my family for 15years, I cannot possibly let it go without a big bang.

However, due to the recent turn of events, my schedules around these few weekends are super tight, I'm afraid, I may not have the time/manpower to make it happen. :-(

Want to share how trusty my Proton is to our family....

My mum was still driving in her late 60s, with failing eye-sight and slower reaction time, she has often forgets to put down the handbrake before moving off, drives at 50-60kmh along the expressways, turn at snail pace and never once our Proton broke down on her or gave her much stress, it just responded to her and her not-so-skillful driving manner.

There were a few hair-raising incidents my mum had with Proton that still gives me the shivers..... but somehow, good blessings fall on mum and Proton and kept them both safe and sound till today.

Once, she parked the car in a multi-storey car-park as her usual favourite open-air car-park was full and she was in a hurry to get to her hair appointment. When she was trying to exit the carpark after getting her hair done, as she was unfamiliar with the turning angle of the carpark, she swerved too much towards the divider of the carpark and one of the wheels was trapped between the sides of the divider..... That divider was not an ordinary one, usual dividers are about 6inches high, this one is about 1foot. I seriously do not know how mum got Proton so high onto the divider and trapped the wheel there.... She said that there was on coming traffic which she was trying to avoid and as it was a downward slope, she reacted too much to the unfamilar turn and ended up in that state. In her state of panic, she attracted enough attention for a kind lady to offer to lend mum her mobile phone to call home to us. (yes, mum had refused the use of her mobile phone with reasons un-citable) This kind lady, not only lent mum her handphone to call us, this kind lady also sent mum home! So I quickly called the tow truck and went down to the scene of "action" to check it out... too bad cameras on mobiles were not fashionable... else, all will be captured graphically.

The tow truck guy was a really nice guy, he helped us to examine the vehicle and made sure that minimum damages were done to the car, wheel and axiel as he was lifting the wheel from the divider. He even offered not to overly charge us for his services if we were still able to drive the car into the garage on our own instead of using his tow truck. Thankfully, the damage done on Proton was minimum and there was little cost for repair.

I was thankful for the safety of both mum and Proton, if it had rolled off down the 100m slope of the carpark exit, it would definitely endangered mum's life.

Then there was another incident when mum was leaving a carpark (hmm.... I'm begining to think that she's not too good with carparks and dividers......), she had to cross one small two lane-traffic to get across to the other side for the correct direction to drive home after dinner. It must be getting dark really fast and she said that she swerved Proton to avoid another on-coming vehicle and ended up putting the whole undercarriage of Proton ONTO the center divider....

Yes, I can picture immediately how cruel this can be to a 12yr old car....

In a very brave action, mum reversed the car successfully and drove all the way home, 5km away..... it was when mum and dad reached the gates of our home that the undercarriage of Proton gave way (due to the crash into the divider) and Proton stopped. It had stopped Safely and in vincinity of our parent's home. Thank God for their safety.

I really cannot imagine what can really happend, explosion from the broken undercarriage? oil leak? water-tank burst? radiator torn? so many possible ugly events can happen to them, but thankfully, Proton pulled through and got them home safely.

I cannot be more thankful for Proton's strong, continuous, faithful service to our family.....

I'm so going to miss it.

dunno wat to write

i had alot on my mind when i could not sleep this morning... imagine waking up at 530am on a sunday!!! sigh!

tried hard to fall back asleep but streams of thoughts just flooded my mind and with the endless streams of thoughts, I figured I should be more productive with my time.

I had so much to blog about.... and after reading another blog, all my blogging-thoughts just flew out of the window, I guess, I really missed blogging about everyday nitty gritties but I feel that I still have such a huge back-log of blogs to "finish". Its getting stressful to maintain the blog! ha ha ha....

I guess i'll start somewhere small.....

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

How does one grieve?

yeah. how does one do it? if only there's a formula, a methodology, a recipe, follow it and you'll be fine.

Two nights ago, I dreamt of my dad, he was in his familiar singlet and shorts, walking about the house as before. Yet, it was a strange dream because everyone in my dream seems to be aware that dad is dead but still lived with us, in our house! It was a warp dream and I felt warped dreaming about it.

Two months ago I cremated my dad, totally unexpected for his sudden departure. It feels very much like a dream still.

There are moments when I just weep and weep like now, is that normal? how long will it last?

I've heard a friend who had 2yrs of sleepless nights after her father passed away suddenly, 13years later, when she thinks about it, she still tears instantly... does death of a family member does that to all of us?

how would you grieve?

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Pixar!

woah, the animation kings Pixar are presenting! so cool!

am watching a thriller from their next animation.... definitely cool!

WWDC2006 rock on!

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

pigeon sms

try it out someday if you have trained pigeons, will save some $$ heh.....

Paloma at SF

We stayed at Hotel Paloma in the heart of SF, woah, the location cannot be more central, its 100m to Moscone Center, 100m to Union Square, we share the same building with Old Navy, Apple Store is just across the roads, the trams/Bart are just 50m round the corners, the rates are reasonable with free internet....

here's a sneak preview of the rooms....

the king size bed....


nice TV, DVD player and Nintendo GAME! hee.....


nice big mirror at the sink, lots of space by the side to put toiletries set


bath tub and toilet....

overall comfort is GREAT! only complaint is that they dun have any hot water boiler in the room, I guess its to discourage anyone from taking the tap water which is non-portable.

Free flow of hot coffee, tea and hot water at the lobby in the mornings!

Thumbs up!

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

My virgin WWDC

YES, its my first, Ad's 4th I think....

alright, here's my journey today.....

yes, must take pic of the banner hee... since so many place already filled with the pictures of the buildings, its no fun anymore to keep showing them, but what the hack, here's how it looked on the outside.... hee....



Keynote speech was held on level 3 and the crowd was already building up at 6am! (nope, i was still soundly asleep when that happened, but there were a few geeks who woke up early and joined many others in the queue, if this happened in Singapore, people will be looking out for the Hello Kitty hee...). The main halls were FILLEd with huge huge banners and they were mostly covered...... The sense of suspense is high, on everyone's mind, its... what's going to be announced??? so cool.... so secret....



On the OUTSIDE, look what we found!!


yes, Ad worked on his latest "artwork" late last night on his volunteer/volunteered head together with C and hee.... its quite nice leh, we discussed the different possibilities during the two days before the "shave" but when it finally happened, he din get his side-panels of mirror-images, he din get to put out WWDC2006 on it, he din get eye-liners on his head neither did he get shaving cream hee..... yes, we talked about how and what for 48hrs before it actually happened. He had quite a few photo request.... poor fella, no one wants to take pictures with his face anymore just his skull ha ha ha....

Yeah, Ad and ME heh.... decided to add a little color today since its such an important day. :)


some interesting banners....


they had quite a bit on cat-talk hee....

guess what??? we were channelled to a long corridor on level 2 and as we turned a corner, we saw an endless queue of people..... and after one corner turn.... another long corridor of people, sitting on the floor, sitting on round tables with power points, another corner appears, MORE people..... my my....



good thing is that there's lots of walking spaces along the corridor even though there's a queue... with no barriers, if it happens in Singapore, either people will fill up the entire space width-wise or lots of poles with slings would be used. Here lots of spaces are available for everyone to just sit around. So cool, because you know that the little bit of time you enter the venue abit later would not make much difference. In fact, sometimes those at the back gets to go into the front rows as the VIPs have not arrive. Ha ha ha....

more people....


still lots more people after the turn....


finally found some buddies and we all sat down the old fashion way....


the best part of being in this geeky conference is.... its 90% male attendees, so the female toilets are usually empty and no queue!!! what a pleasent change from the usual hee...


another best part of the conference is the FOOD! yes, its free flow all around, breakfast is muffins, crossants, baegles, cheese, milk, coffee, tea, hot water, juices..... *slurp*


alright... just to show you how many pple are IN the conference.... here's lots of photos...







Yes its that many people... over 4200+ the highest turnout so far for WWDC....... cool eh? many first timers like me I guess... blur like squid hee...

finally we filed into the presso hall.... woah.... so many chairs, its free seating, u can see many of us dashing to the nearest nearest front row that we can hee...


we are on the 6th row from the front!

heh me and the vain ME hee..... Ad sian of his collection of photos from WWDC Keynote liao since NOTHING will beat his sit infront of the stage experience he had in his first WWDC2000....

more photos from the very packed conference hall....


finally the big guy is HERE!

music was timed nicely, the there he is...

he told us a few things about WWDC2006:

4200+ attendees


from many many countries, can u spot our flag? hee...

Some new stuff....
new Mac Pro

Leopard, the much anticipated new Mac OS has tonnes of new features, exciting ones, but Steve told us that they'll be keeping some as TOP SECRET ha ha ha.... interesting ...


for the complete Leopard list that was announced, you can read it at TUAW's report

wanna hear the real thing? go here.

here's AD showing how close we are to the front hee...


this is what steve and other presentors used to see what's behind them.... i kept thinking that they were so good ah... no need to turn their heads around hee.... silly me


here's how awesome it looked from the back, where there are giant screens by the sides for those back-benchers


here's the unveild posters.... cool.....








here's some of the labs....






the makan place... where the FOOD is free flow, drinks are free flow and the table is huge so that u can eat and use your Mac at the same time....


that's all for today folks!

cheers from WWDC2006

more pictures

our breakfast venue was Mel's Place, next to the Moscone Center for WWDC.

This is the morning of WWDC 2006... must eat first....











here's Ray who finished his entire breakfast!!!


Pictures of SF!!

yes.... its should be more of pictures of OUR SF trip ha ha ha... cos I realised that there's few scenic shots ha ha ha.... :P

here' us at the airport after customs, the luggage came out really fast! considering that we had a short walk to the custom officers, had a short interview, two thumb prints, a webcam shot and walked another 100m or so, we reached the luggage belt and there were already lots of luggage on the belt. From the corner of my eye, I spotted our bright blue hard case and I took a 20m dash to reach for it before it goes another round... hee...



yeah... here's the welcome sign to PROVE that i'm HERE hee..


we headed out towards the car pick up point (got 4 of us hee.....) and after a few mins, we headed down towards the car...


here's the two boys fighting over who to drive....

we settled it the old fashioned way.... "O-Pey-Shom" and guess what??? I LOST!!! I had to drive the first leg from the airport to our hotel!! :(

here's us... hee.. noticed we're in the back seat? that means someone else is driving! ha ha ha....


Monday, August 07, 2006

SF SF here I come

YES!!! Finally arrived in SF. posting is a day late as we were too zonked out last night to do any blogging.

Flight was interesting, we transit at HKIA and planned to purchase their famous roasted goose to eat on the next leg of the ride... unfortunately, we were delayed and the next plane was waiting for us!!! We almost had to run through the security checks and into the boarding area... *SIGH* no roasted goose. Maybe we can try again on the way back home heh.....

While waiting at the boarding area, we could not find our boarding pass!!!! We thought we'll have to turn around... ha ha ha... but no lah, the staff were very understanding, since its such a small piece of paper, its very easy to lose it. So we got it replaced with a handwritten pass! so cool!

The leg from HK to SF was terribly long.... yes, even for a small frame gal like me, I can put both my legs up on the seat and curl up like a kitten to sleep but it was too cold for me to sleep comfortably. Got to wear MORE clothes in the return flight for sure! My nose was doing fine in the begining, as the night approaches, the effects of the nasal-clearning drug (Cirrus) that I took in the morning wear off and my nose starting leaking like a tap. I couldnt decide which was more painful, the chill or the leaky nose...

Food was nicer on this leg of the trip, somehow... the glutinous rice was actually YUMMY! and its a huge portion! (sorry din take any pictures) it even came with a packet of chilli! heh... they know how we feel as singaporeans.... and both the meals came with ice-cream! heh... another incentive for being "good" on the plane? The ride felt like an eternity...... there were even times that I woke up! (usually I sleep like a log, through the many meals served....) I was feeling hungry and cold, I wanted hot hot soupy noodles hee.... which the stewardess was very kind to prepare for me. However, she told me that the two flavours were seafood and vegetarian and ended up giving me a tomyam! strange, but i'm not complaining as it was definitely far better than any of the earlier options hee....

Another cool thing we did was to bring our nalgene bottles on the plane, I asked the stewardess to fill it up with piping hot water and wala, I have a hot bottle to hug to keep warm and also drink continuously to relieve the chill that causes my nose to leak and as a consequence, I'm awake! I felt much better! no more leaky nose! yeah! I could happily settle in to watch another movie out of a list of over 50.

We finally touched down in SF airport at around 815pm local SF time, we quickly left the plane and headed out towards the custom clearance, thankfully, it was EMPTY when we arrive hee.... so we get to check out quickly. Had to scan both my index fingers and take a picture without my specs.... interesting. I was told by Ad that they do this each time you enter USA. Why dun they keep a database of our looks and prints?

tired liao.... 12am local time.... will blog more tomorrow when I attend the keynote... heh..... YES. I'll get to see uncle Steve live for the first time. Get awed by his speeches LIVE!

10hrs to go before uncle steve tells us what's NEW and what's Happening.....

arnt you excited????

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

I'm not going to give in to pressure!!!!

there's this guy who calls me up EVERYDAY intensively persuading me to take up his offer when I actually have many others on the table.  He was unable to produce the papers/certs which I asked for since monday evening.

Yet, he makes calls to me as if he's done his ONE job and pesters me like MAD to take his offer. He even suggests for me to make verification calls NOW when its actually HIS job to do the same thing.

I'm curious, as he mentioned that he'll get into trouble for not gathering sufficient documents but yet he was unable to offer them to me upon my request. STRANGE and FISHY!

I'm not going to give in to his phone pressure!!! boy he's surely hard-selling!

yes, you can guess, its the SAME guy who told me that I'm nice over the phone after barely speaking to me.....

*SIGH* does he really think that he's a great guy like he claimed? 

One reason why I'm writing about it, its to remind myself NOT to give in to him. But get the necc. documents that I WANT! heh.... 

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Things that people do.....

Patronize....
yep. its pretty obvious when someone is patronizing you especially when they claim that you are "nice" on the 2nd min that they speak to you.

one must learn to decify compliments readily before your brain chemicals react overly positive to the compliment and make irrational choices under their influence....

sigh... I have to unofficiate the "I am nice" statement.... ha ha ha