More blurry days in GZ

9th of June seems to be the longest day that I knew in a long time, from midnight, after receiving the news of my dad's discomforts; to knowing that he's hospitalised and being resuscitated; to trying to figure out the route from HK to GZ; to taking the long long plane ride & bus ride to GZ; to seeing mum and settling her for a rest; to seeing my sis & brother-in-law; to answering many critical phone calls; to identifying the important steps needed to be taken... It felt like an eternity when i woke up on sat morning.

I think there were some phone calls that I took throughout the day and night which I could hardly make out what the content was, I recall talking to Otterman while on the bus to GZ, he had the experience of losing his dad to a heart attack in a surprise situation very similar to mind. Recalling his account and the steps he took to minimise emotional damage to his family members gave me good reminders when I spoke to my sis constantly through the night on the early mornings of 9th June when we all lost our dads. At the same time, I also recall another good friend A, who lost his dad in Australia when his siblings took him out on a holiday. Suddenly, we had too much similarities and "bond" in a situation which no one would dream of.

I thank God for giving these two valuable friends to me, to allow me to learn from their experiences and take the necessary actions to prevent an eruption of guilt in my sister & her husband & mum. The first instant I got, I spoke to all three of them individually, assuring them that they've tried their best. When I sense that there were some unhappiness from my eldest bro, I quickly convinced him that they have all tried their best and talking about it/any amount of finger pointing will NOT help in the situation nor bring my dad back to life.

YES, the truth is, my dad will NEVER come back to life. So regardless of what's said to who, it can never reverse the situation. Its pointless to let those alive feel guilty for the rest of their lives. So to all those out there with the "How can you let it happen"-questions be it directed to my mum/sis/brother-in-law or even to the rest of us the immediate family. SHUT the F**K up, do you think that by asking these ridiculous questions would help anyone or anything? It just displays the immaturity of your mind and inability to spare the feelings of the immediate family members. Who in the world would grieve MORE than those who live with him, who will missing him daily at meal times, walks, newspaper reading, watching tv, discussing politics, watching a soccer game? If you have not even called or thought about my dad in the past week/month, I think it gave little to NO rights to even question the situation. IF you have cared about anyone, you would have made an effort to keep in touch. So save those fake crocodile tears, u can shaft them up your A**.

Sorry for the short interlude of "distracted" write-up. Back to more blurry days....

I was pretty upset on Sat afternoon, after the arrival of 2nd bro and Uncle Sunny, after the short discussion, they all departed for the funeral parlour while I was "left" behind in the hotel with mum. Not that I din want to spend time with mum to take care of her, but I thought that I was missing out the chance to see my dad. I flew all the way to GZ alone with the wish of seeing dad for the last time. I thought that I could still catch him with a bit of warmth left in his body. After missing him at the hospital, this felt like the earliest chance to see my dad. I was anxious to face him, I wanted to see my DADDY!!!

I felt so unfair that all got to see him before ME! Almost like I was less worthy then the rest of them. *bleah*

I quickly sent them an sms to tell them that I would like to stay behind all the way and go back home with dad. (even when it meant that I will be running out of clothes & undies, missing Ad for a even longer time)

Plan was to allow my sis, bro-in-law and mum to return to Singapore as planned (on monday night via HK), while Ad will book a one way tix for me to return together with 2nd bro and Uncle Sunny when all paperwork was confirmed and Eldest bro will exit on mon afternoon direct from GZ on his SQ tix. (I only found out that my eldest bro was going to GZ when I was in Terminal One at 6am in the morning of 9th June, he was in T2 trying to get a seat on SQ direct into GZ, when I got to the boarding area, then he's seat was confirmed, he almost had to spend S$2-3k on a biz class tix if not for a last min availability of the economy tix, which costs S$845)

Masterplan for manpower was done. Good.

Uncle Sunny saw that mum was still slightly shaky and made some calls. Wahlah, we've got an official vehicle that will bring the 3 of them out to HK. This official vehicle has dual car-plate which allows it to zip past GZ & HK customs smoothly. The "power" of this vehicle could be felt even at the hotel entrance. Located in a busy district, the hotel driveway is a one way route, allowing only ONE vehicle to be parked at the entrance at any one time. The vehicle arrive early on Sunday morning, it parked at the entrance for close to 20mins to wait for my folks to get ready, check out of their rooms etc and all this while, no one dares to honk at it for "obstructing the way" or walk up to them to drive away, even cab drivers had to reverse their way backwards to leave the hotel. Ha ha ha ha..... The "POWER" of having POWER in China, just 2 car plates will do the trick. Very curious how it looks like??? Here it is:

I cannot figure out what's the special indication on the plate about this car that distinguishes it from the tonnes of others. But I'm sure the locals already knew about it...

Sunday was a slow day as morning was spent on ensuring mum, sis & bro-in-law left GZ safely towards HK. We all decided that we should have a simple chanting session for dad on tues when his body was going into the coffin to be transported back to Singapore. Now these "services" were not provided by the funeral parlour folks (strange actually I thought...) Instead, we were directed to a few famous local temples to try our luck to locate a monk who could do such a special service. Basically, the chanting was to help my dad's spirit travel back with us to Singapore. It seems like it doesnt happen often in this part of the country and not many monks/temples provide such a service. Most monks do their prayer/chantings within the temple's premises. They do not go out.... Yikes. Time was running out. Good thing that the temples were located close to one another, so we went "monk-hunting" and we got lucky, after much persuasion and sounding pretty desperate, the monk from one of the temples agreed to help us. But he'll send his fellow-peer as he was occupied on tues afternoon... Strangely, after making the verbal "booking" with him on the spot, he still asked us to call him at 5pm that evening to confirm....

Erhm, we kinda slept in the evening after feeling totally relieved that we can find a monk and forgot to call him until 8pm that night!!! ARGHHH.... imagine losing him just because of this??? But I cannot understand why need another confirmation leh? Good thing he answered his call at 8pm and gave the number of another monk who is available at our specific time. We tried calling this new monk and there was no pick up!!! *panic*

We quickly alerted our lady relative who's native in GZ and updated her on the situation, with her resourcefulness, she managed to confirm confirm the new monk for the service and offered to personally pick him up and send him to the funeral parlour to do the chanting. Woah, she's good!

Another concern was what will happen to mum when she's in HK from sunday till monday night when she flies back to Singapore?? She'll be tired, yet restless with so much that has happened. Luckily, we've got an aunt (sister to my dad) who lives in HK with her hubby and kids, she was informed of the situation and was staying put in HK to take care of my mum instead of rushing over to GZ and exhausting the manpower. At least we got fresh resources along the way, to reduce the strain on my sis and bro-in-law. Uncle G (husband to aunt) even gave my sis a local phone card to be used so that she can communicate with us (in GZ) at a cheaper rate. Thanks Uncle G. I constantly checked on mum through my sis and even called her a various times to access her emotions through listening to her voice.

On a separate trip to taipei with Ad, we met a cousin who was very close to mum. Recalling that I've got his mobile number, I quickly sent him information on our situation and gave him contact numbers to my sis's new HK number to allow him to talk to mum. He volunteered to pick mum up from Changi Airport on monday late night which I figured would be a good tranquilzer for her instead of just Ad & J (who drove Ad around those few days to get information, settle paperworks etc. Thank YOU J!). Cousin CN was the best person to talk to mum, he just needs 1 sentence, she'll calm down instantly, verses the few thousand words that I say to her, wont help.... Its strange how theses cycles works, there's one person for everyone of us whom we'll just fully trust and "obey" while all others will always forever remain as insignificant "noises". I think being able to locate cousin CN was one of the best choices I made, he spent some time talking to her accessing her condition and helped her to focus on what lies ahead. I'm glad he was around to stablise mum.

The greatest concern I had was how mum would feel when she gets back to Singapore, being a familiar place, she'll be overwhelmed with too much emotions. It was important to settle her down and allow her to get good quality rest. She spent the night in 2nd bro's house which we all felt was the best solution as she had her grand-daugther to play with, her daughter-in-law and their domestic helper to keep an eye on her. Ad also found notes on signs and symptoms of stroke and ensure that this information was passed onto to both of them. After seeing that mum settled down and got ready for bed, Ad left 2nd bro's house and returned home TIRED from 3 days of running around non-stop..... Thank you DEAR.

On the other hand, monday for us in GZ was madness. Early in the morning, we were told that the date of birth particulars filled on the death certificate was different from that of the passport! WAH! That could mean serious delay in the processing of the paperworks. We were told that all the paperwork must be completed by 4pm that day to ensure that the airline will award the airway bill to load the "cargo". So the time frame to get the DOB sorted was very short (in China context as their system works differently or in our short-tempered terms..... S.L.O.W.L.Y) We arrive at the hospital at 10am to double-check what's needed to be done. It'll cost too much time to get the DC re-issued, so instead, they got the official to correct the error and re-stamp on the same cert again. That took us 1hr+. It was almost 11am, we have to head to the bank to change our Singaporean currency into RMB so that we can pay the "transport" agent on tuesday after he process all the paperwork.

At the same time, while we were in the hospital, I went off with our lady relative to look for her friend in the documents storage dept to attempt to get a copy of my dad's medical records during his stay in the hospital. In frenzy on friday, my sis did not get the doc's report nor any transcripts, so we have to do this today. Good thing that this lady relative knew some people working in that hospital, while her friend was not at the desk, she made arrangements for us to obtain the records from her co-workers in the relevant department. We went to look for him instantly and approached him humbly for his help, he quickly sprung into actions, checking his digital records if the medical notes has arrived at his super computer. Nope, not so fast he said.... strange, the A&E folks claimed that they've submitted the documents, that's why we came UP in the first place, now the UPstairs folks claimed that it was still downstairs.... *SIGH* this signaled another waiting game....

He asked if I had any documents to prove my association with dad and a prove of my identity as well. Luckily, in my 5am attempt to leave home, I brought along copies of my birth cert (which states my dad's name and NRIC number) and also a copy of my passport. He was glad that he did not have to do "extra" work to copy these two items when I handed him my printed copies. I guess that helped to sweeten the deal abit. I was glad that my BC came to good use. We were uncertain how long the waiting game would be at the Upstairs office.... so our lady relative volunteered to wait on our behalf while we (2nd bro, Uncle Sunny and hometown relative) would go ahead to the funeral parlour to pay for the room; change our foreign currency; meet our MFA officer to get the money which we TT-ed. Yep, there was alot of errands to run within a day.

It felt like I was in GZ for an eternity already. Only two more nights before I go back to Singapore. I never felt so home-sick before. Perhaps it was knowing that I've got a bigger safety net in Singapore. I wont have to depend on others/expensive mobile charges on sms/phone calls to keep me sane....

family jen travel

Blurred days in GZ

Knowing that I've already lost my dad gave me a new mission. My mum. It was central that she is taken care of and watched round the clock. She has 3 strokes previously and it was no easy feat to get her back to her feet. But I guess after having gone through all that, she was much stronger and positive then I expected. She could tell me that she knows that she has to control her emotions and not let her blood pressure shoot through the roof upon my dad's departure. She gave herself a role to play in the days ahead. That is to assist my 2nd bro with looking after his kid during the day while he and his wife are at work together with the aid of their domestic helper.

It was such a relief that mum quickly latched onto something positive for her to hold onto. Its not easy to find a new source of strength after having spent over 40yrs with a loved one. Being the strong person that she always was, I was glad that she found this strength during this tough time. My job now is to just monitor her emotions, understand what environment, what kind of words etc would trigger a huge jump in her blood pressure. Also, I was carefully monitoring the amount of rest she's getting. Once she is deprive of a good night's rest, the next day tend to be very difficult for her. To get her to sleep well, I tried to drain her energy by striking up conversations with her. The first night passed very swiftly by the time we sorted out the amount of $$ we need to attend to dad's transport back to Singapore, we rely those information to my 2nd brother (who was flying in the next day) and we wanted to have a family meeting together first before deciding which strategy to adopt. So much was to be left till the next day and I sent my sis & bro-in-law to rest at 6pm (since they've stayed up the whole night at the hospital with my dad and the whole day running around the different depts trying to settle his medical bills and embalment procedures etc). Without realising it, we all took a good night's rest till the next morning around 8am!

I was glad to hear my mum's snores through the night as I woke up a few times to check on her and also make the toilet breaks due to the large amount of water I drank to hydrate my body. Morning was a little tense as mum started to discuss dad, how he was like in his youth, what did for her and the family etc. I knew that she needed an outlet, for women, its easy, just let them TALK! I just did the "ah huh, ah, orh, hmm...." it was enough for her.

Morning passed quickly as we ate some breakfast and my eldest brother brought us out to a nearby street in an attempt to purchase some suitable clothes for the occasion. Sis brought mostly clothes in bright colors and red for the holiday and there was no way she can wear them for the remaining of the journey.... So we had a real mission to SHOP! Its strange how we can actually go shopping! at such a time..... I guess its good distraction for everyone as well, trying to meet a real need to be dressed appropriately while indulging in some retail therapy hee...

We only had time to wander into 3 shops before my mum was feeling tired, so we headed back towards the hotel to wait for my brother's arrival. I drew a bath for myself to settle down while waiting for him knowing that the relaxation was going to good for the stiff neck that I got from sleeping on low pillows....

When my bro arrived, my mum broke down uncontrollably. I found it hard to conceive as I always thought that I was the closest to mum... she was emotionless when I arrive or rather dash into the hotel room filled with strangers aka relatives breathless from the run and anxiety to see how she was doing.....*bleah*

She quickly calmed down knowing that it was unhealthy for her to be so emotional about the situation. We quickly filled in the information for my bro and uncle Sunny who came to help (he's my dad's brother who has been doing business in China for a long time, knowing most of our family's extended relatives in China, he was also the one who informed our relatives about the situation, making them dash out of their hometowns 2-3hr drive away into the GZ city to the hospital etc to see what they can do to help). It was such a great blessing to know that we have someone whom we can depend on to help us with this sticky situation. Because, the way things are done in China is so so so so different from Singapore. Things that we cannot comprehend happens here on a daily basis and as part of the livelihood of many of the locals. Hence, it was a great eye-opener for us to be here in GZ as well.

Through the various correspondence, we identified that in order to transport my dad's body back to Singapore (vs cremation and bringing home his ashes), we need 4 pieces of document. We confirmed this information with the local GZ funeral parlour, GZ MFA officers, Singapore Casket and was relieved that all said the same thing. Next thing was to decide HOW to get these papers.

They are:
1. Death certificate from the Hospital
2. Embalming certificate from the undertakers
3. Sealing of the coffin certificate from the custom officers (from the airport customs)
4. Cargo bill which states the purchase of cargo space to transport the body (a string of 10numbers was impt)

These four pieces of documents were essential to transport any-body back to Singapore and these documents were made in mandarin.... which was not the official accepted language in Singapore so we had to find a notary service (first time I heard this term ha ha ha.... and learnt that it meant a legal service which translate official documents officially and it chops on these documents making the translated copies legal as well).

So all these services were from 4 different departments, to process each of them on our own would take a significant amount of time. After much discussion, we decided to hand the "job" over to the GZ funeral parlour, which according to our MFA officers is the largest undertaker service in GZ and was assured that they would complete the "job" without a hitch.

Also, I understood that each hospital has a designated undertaker in the different part of the city. So I guess we were lucky to be assigned to the largest undertaker in GZ which has a good reputation and experience with overseas transfers of the body.

In addition, I must state that we are totally grateful for our relatives who zoomed out from the hometown the instant they heard that we're in "trouble" without even bringing a set of clothing or charger for their mobile phone. It was very heartwarming to know that they respond so strongly to people whom they barely knew, just because we share the same surname.

One lady in particular strike me as someone whom I'll have no quarlms working with in future. She manages a travel agency in GZ and knew many people in the various industries. At 8am when she was informed of our situation, she arrived in the hotel at 4pm with all the crucial information relevant to the situation. She dissected the whole process of transporting my dad's body back to Singapore down to the different departments and some even with names to the "heads" of the departments with all the breakdown of the costs as well. She volunteered to carry out all the paperwork on our behalf at 5-6k RMB cheaper then that offered by the GZ funeral parlour. But she warned us that it may take a longer time for her to personally go and "fill" in the paperwork as compared to those funeral parlours who has constant "dealings" with the relevant departments eg. custom officials at the airport (for the other export cases which they handle), cargo/freight departments to get the permits etc.... Eventually we all agreed that getting my dad out of the country asap was the priority therefore by spending the additional 5-6k RMB was worth it (=S$1-1.2k) besides, we wont know how long the body will be delayed in the personal route, so we might as well pay the additional money to avoid "road-blocks" and them to allow us to return on the earliest possible timing.

They were with us throughout our 6 days stay in GZ, taking us out for dinners, bringing the rest of their families for us to meet, allowing us to know them as personal friends instead of just relatives who share the same surname. They even sent us off to the airport before going back to their lives and carrying on with their work etc...

Such displays of a warm hospitality was rare and hard to find in our cosmopolitan, fast-paced, objective driven society. I'm glad that we found it in our hometown folks, giving us more confidence of being who were are, knowing that there are dependable people out there in this cold harsh cruel society. Its strange how close "family-ties" can so easily dissolve any hostility between two strangers and we can dive straight to getting the serious works done. I wont imagine such great extend of help and friendship from a bunch of strangers if I was travelling in a foreign land. Would you?

family jen travel

I lost his virginity.... WAHHHHH

Ad passed his driving yesterday.

Today he was given a car to drive.

It was his virgin driving experience.

It wasnt our car that he drove.

I wasnt inside the car when he drove it.

I lost his virgin driving experience! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NOT FAIR!

ad happenings

On the plane and beyond...

Whilst on the plane, I fidgeted like crazy. Not only was I distracted by the excited kids's HK holiday, I also had a young active 4yr old who kept kicking into my seat in his protest to be seated while the plane taxied to the runway. All these were minor discomforts compared to the emotional turmoil growing in my mind. Every tiny thought of my father would evoke tears to my eyes. Even the air stewardess seated across the walkway cannot help noticed that I kept wiping the tears away.

I had some cash on me which I changed from the money changer as well as the ATM machine, since I cannot sleep nor rest properly in my seat, I quickly went to the loo to "sort them out". I had a GREAT pouch which was almost thief-prove. Its from Pac-Safe. It was one of the items which I had to dig out from our travel gear box in the wee hours of the morning while trying to pack for the trip in like 10mins and I'm truly glad I found it. I bought the pouch as I found it cool but it gave me complete piece of mind on the whole entire trip.

This pouch has wires through its strap which can be padlocked to its end which prevents cutting of the strap. The entire covers of the pouch has got wires woven into it to prevent knief slashing. Read it for yourself to find out if its suitable for your own use when you travel in a foreign land

The plane arrived as scheduled in HKIA once the plane stopped taxi-ing towards its gate, all the passengers on the plane leaped from their seats to get their bags from the overhead compartment, I did the same thing as well. Being in the first row, I was going to be the first to depart from the plane, cool.... adrenaline from all the anticipation was building up in my blood stream, I was going to be almost uncontrollably emotional at the slightest tinge of conversation regarding why I'm in such a hurry or why am I here in HK in the first place.... not good to be in any form of conversation now... hmm....

It was raining heavily outside the plane, while we expected a short wait for the aerobridge to be connected to the plane, the wait grew to be a painful 15mins wait, legs going wobbly liao. With the growing impatience in the air, the plane captain was compelled to find out what was going on. Shortly after, he announced that the airport crew has notified them that they would be unable to connect the aerobridge until the rain slows down. It was raining too heavily for the connection to occur!!!! Can you believe that? In a country where they experience tornados and hurricanes, this tiny amount of rain was too heavy for the aerobridge connection??? Oh man!

We all took our seats unwillingly and as for me..... I could chose to stomp my feet and be loud about why I should leave the plane like almost immediately or chose to conserve my energy for the journey ahead.... I chose the latter. I sat down and tried to search for a good reason why the rain would give us such delay (as this is the first time in the many flights I've taken that it has happened and especially on such an occasion.... totally unbelievable). With the wait, the adrenaline from my anxiety seems to thin down, my heart is not beating as crazy as it was before after a 50min wait, I was actually very calm and left the plane in a more composed manner than I would have 50mins ago.

I guess that was a real blessing, I would not be able to make it across Guangzhou on the bus if I was washing my face in tears from the moment I depart the plane.

I zoomed passed the immigrations by approaching one of the officers who was trying to distribute the crowd to the different queues and told her directly that I was in a hurry to depart as I wanted to see my father for the last time, having said that sentence, tears welled up in my eyes, I never imagine to be saying this. For the last time. Suddenly, this moment was very significant to me. To say goodbye. She quickly understood and with no further questions gestered me towards a short queue (bypassing all those behind in a long long line). The lady in the queue must have felt/overheard our conversation, without any hesitation, she invited me to overtake her position in the queue. I could not thank her enough for being so understanding. I had to act tough and stand infront of the custom officer for what felt like an eternity to get my passport chopped. Thereafter, I raced out towards the chartered buses towards GZ for the earliest bus to depart, it was 1125am. I think there was one that leaves at 1130am.

There were some counters with pretty counter sales girls who tells me that their buses are the fastest. All takes 3-4hrs to reach GZ, departing at 1130am, 1145am, 1200pm etc. But at different rates of 200-300HKD. I took the one that leaves the earliest and yet the cheapest. I chose the bus option over the train option based on a few reasons.

1. bus is a direct route, I just need to sit on it and it'll get me to GZ, Garden Hotel which is very central in GZ to reach both the hotel/hospital. will arrive at about 2-3pm

2. for the train option there's a few routes available:

a - train to Hong Hom Train station in Tsim Sha Tsui to get onto the half-hourly train
- the train to Hong Hom will take about 20-40mins
- once miss the half-hourly train will take another 30mins before the next train arrives, the next train due was 1230pm, I was not sure if I can definitely make it for this one
- it will take another 1.5hr from Hong Hom train station to GZ train station
- assuming that I was lucky to get onto the 1230pm train, i will reach at 2pm if not, 230pm. this is not factoring the time required for clearing customs....

b - train to Luo Wu Train station, cross over the border towards Shenzhen and find the train to GZ on my own (train leaves half hourly or on the hour depending on the timing)
- the train ride to Luo Wu will take at least an 1-1.5hr
- unsure custom times, if peak may take up to an hour to clear the customs
- ShenZhen-GZ train will take at least 1hr
- finding the train station and locating the correct ticketing offices will take time, leading to getting lost, increasing my exposure to pickpocketers/theif etc
- ETA will b around 2-3pm

going through my options rapidly in my mind, I decided to just take the bus. I want to reduce the hassle of finding something in somewhere which I'm not familar with and laden with loads of pickpockets/theif etc.

After I bought the bus tickets, the sms in the hp kept pouring in, the Singapore embassy officer whom I called during the night to inform her of the situation, sent me information for a GZ office which she promised. I also quickly got a call from our representative in HK MFA office, giving me information on the train times available, she felt that I would get to GZ faster with the train method, but I felt it was safer otherwise. Nonetheless, she was very helpful over the phone and kept asking if there was anything else which I would require assistance on. I could not think of any.

My friend Al from Singapore also sent sms on our MFA office in GZ, I felt relieved that we have such special privileges as Singaporeans. We can be assured that efficient communication of relevant information is available. I felt very "safe". Shortly later, I recieved a call from one of the officers in the GZ office Mr. Wong. He was quick to provide a list of the services he can provide on behalf of his office and hearing a Singaporean accent in a totally foreign land is very re-assuring. I told him that we'll remain in contact as I was unsure of the details and the developments to my father's situation.

By then, my hp was overwhelmed with sms, phone calls and one of the first sms that I received was from my cousin whom we seldom communicate. She sent her condolences.

I knew I was too late.

My heart sunk.

My sis's sms came in to say that she had to let father go. they've tried resuscitating him 6-7times through the night manually. It confirmed my suspicision.

Things will be different now. How's mum doing was my first reaction. If she's not doing well either then we'll have a double whammy....

Sis said that mum has returned to the hotel with some of our relatives from our hometown. HUH?? Where do they come from??

Uncle Sunny contacted our hometown relatives on the first instant after receiving the news and told them to come over to our hotel/hospital to check on the status at 7am in the morning. By 4pm, when I arrive in the hotel to check on my mum, there was already 5 of our relatives in the room, discussing the varies approach to the situation.

Being mildly jetlag and deprived of sleep, I could hardly figure out who was who. All I was relieved of was that mum's looking better than I expected. I guess having some crowd around her helps to keep her momentum up. I doubt if the truth of the situation has sank deep into her mind yet. I could see that she was struggling to keep the conversation alive with her sleepy eyes. I suggested for her to take a short nap to recoup some lost energy. She gingerly agreed.

We left the group to discuss the strategies and went to rest. Mum was quite shaken and had to rely on some sound advice to get a good wash up, change into some fresh cloths, take a hot drink and rest in a warm bed. I kept talking to her to keep her mind onto something positive to look forward to instead of gloomy thoughts to go to bed with. I guess it kinda helped, as she was not in a agitated mood or showed signs of stress.

Sis returned from the undertakers who has been assigned by the hospital to embalm dad's body. She came back with an astonishing figure for processing dad's body, air frieght him back to singapore with the relevant paperworks. Its 60,000RMB! convert to sing dollars..... 12k!!! my goodness!

family jen travel

unreal moments II

As I was about to board the plane, I was super nervous about the flight, how to get out of it FAST and IMMEDIATELY. I made a request to be seated as close to the aerobridge as possible and thankfully, in the super late check-in of mine, there was a aisle seat just on the first row. It felt like a start of an adventure but one that was blessed along its tracks.

I was feeling so nervous that I knew I had to line my tracks with comfort zones to pull me through this super new ordeal. I've thought about the day when one of my parents will leave me but never imagined it to be this way, at such a lightning speed, at such a donkey distance away. I took the chance to send out a few sms in the cab to the airport to ensure that I set up proper support network for my mental health's well being. I knew that there were a few early risers in the group who can give me almost immediate support.

Yes, thank God they were up bright and early on a fri morning, and quickly responded to me, gave me the assurance that I'm not on the plane alone but with the prayers and blessings from those close to my heart. With a few of these sms, I hang on to the brink hope of seeing my dad for the last time in Guangzhou, I boarded the plane with the heaviest heart and the emptiest stomach.

I recall waiting at the boarding area till the all the passengers has gone in to receive the last update on my dad. I recall sitting, waiting nervously, looking around me were all the happy families bringing their kids and grannies to HK for a family trip. I can see the excitement written all over their faces, their eagerness to start a long awaited family holiday. They all had puzzled look when they see the sadness in my eyes. They cannot comprehand why would someone look so so so forlorn on a plane towards HK. Its a shopping paradise, its a food paradise, its a place where people look forward and enjoy themselves silly.

There were a few occassions when I had to turn my longing gaze at a complete father-mother-child-happy-family group because tears were welling in my eyes as I had to brutally remind myself that my father may never be able to go on a trip with me anymore. At 31, I still feel that it was too early for me to lose a parent. I felt short-changed as compared to my siblings who had a good 11, 10 & 6yrs MORE than me. I hated the idea that my family now feels incomplete.

And what will happen to mum? If I'm feeling so terrible about the loss of my dad, she must be feeling one million times worse! My mind quickly drifted to imagine myself in her shoes and I had to held back my tears even harder, I could feel her pain of loss. The companionship of someone whom you've spent over 40yrs together is unimaginable. (Even when Ad goes on his overseas posting for a few short days, the sense of emptiness in the house can get pretty unbearable, I cannot imagine a lifetime of that emptiness in the house for my mum).

On and off during the waiting time I had to quickly swip tears off my eyes and it created quite a few amazed stares from those in the boarding area, thankfully they belong to groups of Singaporean families who poses little threat.

Why would there be threats...

Recall the previous post on how good at thief some of our tourist can get? On my way to the boarding area, I noticed some of these travellers who appears to belong to that category of tourist. They walked with their eyes prying all around, understanding their body language and catching part of their conversation on how happy they are here in Singapore with alot of "rewards" put me on my highest guard! Thinking back, if they can station pickpockets along train stations to pry on "high potential" folks with lots of $$, it's not surprising that this network extends to international airport. A pickpocket/con artist will never stop work regardless of where they are.

I was warned that there are more pickpocketors and con artists in the major train stations in china than there are of police and genuine travellers. Afterall, we are talking about a country with the 2nd largest population in the world and only a few major cities prospered while most of the rural areas are lagging behind in wealth, greed becomes a natural instinct for those who come from more humble background. So carrying this mentality of being surrounded by con artists & pickpockets, i was on high alert even while on the plane!

It made it "unsafe" for me to publicly shed my tears of grieve and also declare to the stewardess of my intentions to leave the plane the first instant I can. *bleah*

family jen travel

moments that feels so unreal

Since the wee hours of the 9th of June, my life has been in a blur state. nothing seems to register much in my big empty mind, my world has been turned upside down after a phone call at 1150pm on 8th June.

I picked up the call with some agitation as I was trying to catch a re-run of my cantonese drama on chl55 at 1150pm, a phone call other than from my overseas husband cannot be anything good.

It was a call from Guangzhou, from my sister who was having holiday with her husband, in-laws and her sister-in-laws. Since it was a short getaway, she invited my parents to go along with her. They'll spend 7days travelling in Guangdong Province and then 4 days in HK. This call was called on the last night before they depart for HK.

Sis sounded calm over the phone, asking if I knew the name of a medication for my dad's heart condition. On further questioning, I realised that my dad's condition was more serious than she thought, although I urged her to seek medical help for my dad, she seemed pretty certain that it was under control. Being so far away, I felt totally helpless for the first time. I could not see and respond to his condition directly and I had to translate what I knew instinctively into words, actions, observations which lay person like my sis and her extended family can understand.

My mind replayed back the scene when my dad could still walk himself down 4 storeys to the car when I drove him to the A&E of SGH one late friday night when I thought he had food poisoning. It was until when we arrive in the hospital that he turned pale and the MO was quick enough to detect that it was a heart attack that my dad was suffering from. That was 6yrs ago. Months after that night, I lay sleepless, restless on my bed wondering when would he have his next attack, it seems so scary that it can just happen anywhere, anytime. Gradually, dad recovered fully from his brief escape from death and was able to move about as per normal and life reverted as if it never happened. We had a few happy family trips overseas and we all took his health for granted, that he'll be here tomorrow.

At 12+am on the 9th June morning, sis called again to say that she brought dad to the hospital after talking to me as she noticed that the color in his face has turned pale (thank God!). Dad was conscious when he was brought to the A&E in the hospital and had a sudden cardiac arrest. At 1+am, sis called again to ask if there was anything else to be done for dad has the medical team has carried out over 30mins of manual CPR on dad. I asked relentlessly about the defrilbrator and she was told by the medical staff that dad's health was not suitable to sustain the defrilbrator. Feeling incompetent, I could only consider the emotional turmoil that my sis and her husband is going through at that moment. I had to comfort them, to assure them that they have done all that they could for dad. We just have to let him go.

As soon as I hang up the phone, I took a few deep breaths and called both my brothers to relay the news. I tried to be calm and asked them to be seated. While my eldest brother was mentally prepared, he had asked me not to spell out the details which my second brother seems to be in another time zone, he was calm and had little response to my news.

Finally, after taking care of the "family" side, I could release all the emotional distress I was holding onto. I cried the hardest I ever had in years. I did not even know that I'm capable of that amount of grieve.

In that few short moments, I had the clarity of mind to quickly plan what I had to do next. I had to find out if we had consulate offices in GZ. So I quickly gave a call to Al, woke him in shock, it took him like 5secs to jump out of bed to turn on his computer and stayed online for the next 2hours finding me the contacts and numbers that I'll need while I'm in GZ planning for whatever I might need.

At 2am, my sis called to say that the medical team managed to resuscitate dad after 50mins of manual pumping. Thank God! Dad was still weak, required the respirator to breath. Next thing to do was to call the SOS which was covered under medical insurance that my sis bought for parents for this trip. The SOS team responded to say that they are on standby, once dad was fit to travel, they'll fly him home.

I held onto that tiny window of hope and prayed, prayed and prayed. I wished that I was there rightaway, to tell dad that I love him. To tell him that I'm grateful for all the lessons that I've learnt from him. To tell dad that football, politics and rojak will forever remind me of him. That I enjoyed watching him smile whenever he receives a treat, how he will devour the whole ice cream cone from the plane's dessert menu, how his wit has often spurred me on. I wished that I could give him one last hug, one last kiss, one proper goodbye.

I knew that I had to go and see him. I had to travel a few hundred miles to bring dad home.

From 2am-6am, I received numerous news from sis, updating dad's condition, he was resuscitated on and off about 6-7times through the night. With each time closer to each other, I knew the chances were slim. My sis had requested for all of us to fly into GZ, its unlike her to sound so weak over the sms, I knew she was under tremendous pressure. Ad was away but online, he helped me map out the route from HK International Airport to the GZ hospital and also the hotel that sis was staying in. I had to rethink all my packing strategy. I had to travel light, no check-in luggage, no trolley bags, no bulky items. It'll just be me and a bag, quick to navigate around.

Thank God that Singapore is a small country with great amenities, I knew that I could use NETS to change out whatever amount of RMB that I need and there's usually an ATM machine nearby to cash out whatever I needed. I was told to bring more CASH. I had to carry CASH on my tiny body, so I had to spilt out all my cards, cash and still try to remain compose to avoid being too obvious in a crowd.

My fllight departs at 640am. I wanted to leave home at 5am.... but I was still trying to scan my passport, birthcert at that time, I printed them out quickly, sent a copy to Ad and Al incase they needed it to get me out of some tricky situation (I had to think so fast just in case of anything, anything at all). I had to bring prove that I was the daughter of my dad, so nothing more precious than my birthcert. I knew that I had to carry a copy of my passport with me whenever I travel, for whatever reasons. So while the scanning took place, I quickly stuffed some clothes into my backpack, took some multivitamins with me, ensured that I wont be cold by bringing my most reliable jacket, jumped into the showers, turned off all the lights, shut windows, wore my socks, wore my timberland boots with a pair of black jeans, I ran out of my house at 545am.

yes, I was really testing the limits of the check-in system at the airport, the ticket clearly states that the gate closes at 40mins BEFORE flight depart, I had 15mins to get to the airport before I miss my flight......

I ran out to the main road only to find the road totally deserted..... my heart sank. My mind was starting to go spiral into some unknown zone, I was pleading with God to be merciful, to give me a cab. Dun punish me now for having such a small window of time to get to the airport.....

Then out of the blue, a cab appeared, I quickly flagged it down, told the driver that I had to catch a plane.... a 640am plane. He took a look at his clock and raved his accelerator. He could sense that I was troubled and did not attempt to question my "lateness". I think I took a call during this time to someone and we kinda discussed about dad's situation, the driver was sensitive enough to turn off the radio and he sped even faster. We got to the airport with mins to spare, for a short moment, I thought I had missed bringing my passport, I was on the brink of breakdown. I let out a loud scream of "Oh NO!" but very quickly found the passport that was buried with the numerous pieces of notes in my pouch.

Thank God. I knew I would never forgive myself if I had gotten to the airport on time and not find my passport.

I dunno how my heart could take all these excitement, but I knew that I was living on adrenaline. All I could think of is how to get to GZ asap.

I havent had food for the past two days as I was still stuffed full from the buffet lunch two days before. But this morning, hunger was the last thing on my mind.

family jen travel

Car tunes to Morning Express

after a few days of mugging and having the radio on for the whole day....

I conclude that I prefer listening to Car Tunes over Morning Express ANY DAY!

Car Tunes program is witty, funny, full of surprises, light-hearted, DJs are light-hearted people who make sensible remarks. I enjoy the humor on it, allows me to relax at the end of the day and look forward to listening to what they have to say the next day. Or who are they going to call for good service or how they are going to pull their stuns on the service people hee....

Last evening, Rod pulled off as young man who called a aircon sales guy with a few funny questions posted for him.

eg. Eh, how much would it cost to put air con in all the rooms of my uncle's house eh?
eg. Eh, how big will the trunking be eh?
eg. Eh, how much would it be eh?

in between each of these questions, Rod was "interrupted" by "his uncle" to post the next question.... So all in all, Rod must have answered his phone about 6-8times during the short conversation with the salesman. ha ha ha ha.... The salesman mantained a cool composure and held his own conversation in the background while Rod was "on the phone with his uncle" and kept repeating himself "I can only tell you the answers when I come to your house".

I thought that the salesman handled the situation very quite well. When I bought my aircons, I had to pay deposite at the shop and they didn't even offer to come to my house to view it and give me a quotation!

The salesman finally hang up on Rod while he was "on his phone with uncle" for like the 8th time with his same last words... hee...

One listener even called Rod to express is support for the salesman! And of course this listener got the "Rod on phone with uncle" treatment as well. ha ha ha... it was really funny.

In contrast, I dread to listen to the Morning Express duo who used to be really good. In the recent years, the quality of their program has deteriorated to mainly sarcasm and petty remarks. Its very disappointing how Glenn Ong expresses his own opinion on national air as if he IS singapore. Perhaps many out there loved his crude remarks and rude nature but I certainly feel that its a poor reflection of how good quality radio program can be. What happen to their wit? if they have any at all...

Morning shows are disgustingly unpleasent way to start the day with these days. I certainly do hope that they can improve on their content and delivery to make the start of any day a happy one.... not a bitter one filled with petty remarks and finger-pointing talks. We have enough of all that in our daily lives, work environment etc, we do not need to hear it over the air.

So Thumbs UP for Car Tunes!

Weirdest Jay Walking Awareness Campaign

So I blog from Manila this time. I just had to. I found out from the drivers bringing me around that here in Manila, they just tried out a new tactic to make pedestrains aware that Jay Walking is dangerous. How?

A. Pedestrain is trying to Jaywalk
B. Pedestrain is spotted by alert traffic police
C. Police takes out enormous grand hose and sprays jets of water on the Pedestrain
D. Shocked (and wet) pedestrain is led into a trailer and made to sit down to view video on why not to jaywalk
E. Pedestrain is let off (still wet)

I thought J was joking when he first said it... Then the driver said no, it's true.

WOW....imagine that!

A

still FULL from lunch

yes, i'm still feeling Full from the buffet lunch. wonder if it will lead to breakfast as well... hmm... only hours away, we'll find out soon ha ha ha ha

a humorous guide

I was looking for helpful tips to writing a good scientific paper and one link provided by Ad lead me to this...

it describes the need to write a paper for the sake of clocking the paper counter at the university level. hee... funny guy. but he's right in saying that he did make his numbers go UP in publish his work!

lunch that lasted till dinner

had a super duper filling jap buffet lunch today and i can still feel the food in my stomach NOW. I think i've overworked my system. help!

food was superbly yummy! see how we clean the plates!




One of my favourite dishes was the kimchi beansprout. I din know that we can stir fry kimchi with different food items. Its a GREAT way to consume kimchi! I simply cannot stop eating and eating and eating it....

so we had to keep ordering and ordering and ordering it.....

by the time we placed our last order for it, it was like our 5th order of kimchi beansprout and guess what? the standard of it DROPPED!!!!!!

Aiyo, so disappointing! the sauce tasted different in the last plate which was so super obivous in the color even. It was just super salty! no spicy taste. so sad that the last dish had to end this way....


i dun think i need breakfast tomorrow....maybe even lunch, even dinner... i'm feeling so full!

WahhhhhHHHHH

Ad was carrying Baby A one evening and when Baby A wanted to practise his screaming tactics to get Ad to start walking him around, Ad instead started to mimic Baby A's scream!

ha ha ha ha....

perhaps Baby A was not familiar with this tactic, his eyes were opened Widely upon hearing Ad's scream, took a few short breaths in an attempt to comprehand the situation, realise that both his mum AND dad were on different side of the table, this screaming adult must be someone else!!!

Baby A was ultra quiet for a few moments when he gasped enough air, he let out the loudest scream of the night. Ha ha ha... that shocked Ad as well.

I guess they are even! ha ha ha....

check out how much tears this young man can wield up in spilt seconds...

this was taken after a quick pacifying session by mummy E. Baby A has super fast recovery from shock sia! perhaps he's well trained from the frequent loud sneezes, door bangings or the sounds of vehicles.

Yes yes, Baby A and Ad made peace again and Baby A seems to be happily caught up in Ad's baby entertaining services hee...


Baby A is such a smiley baby! absolutely fun to have around. except that he doesnt really nap when he's not at home. ha ha ha ha.... sure know how to have fun at such a young tender age!

All in a Day... III

This was a special day in history. The shortform of it reads 060606 or the even shorter form 666. In many christian literature, these 3 numbers represents a demonic origin.

Yet, a record number of people chose to get married on this day. Interesting eh? from an average of 50/day, it rose to over 300 as reported in ST.

I was driving from the east to west and it was a sunny weather all the way until I turned out at Jurong, as I entered the gates of my school, I was greeted by a drizzle, after a right turn 500m after the gate the drizzle became a strong rain, 50m into the turn, the rain was pouring down so strong that I had to drive very slowly to navigate the wet, bendy road filled with road humps. I was going at 3rd gear with the wiper going at FULL speed, still I could hardly see 10m infront of me. Good thing that the traffic was light around me.

I tried getting into the nearest carpark to my lab which requires the insertion of the cashcard into the reader to grant access. The tiny-mini shelter to shield the machine from the rain was hardly effective in this weather, after lowering the window to insert my cashcard, the rain was pouring into my window as well. it took a while for the machine to read the card and in this time, I had a hard time trying to decide if i should raise the windows while waiting to reduce the amount of rain that is getting in or just wait since my windows are not exactly moving at lighning speeds....

I chose to wait it out. Strangely, after spitting my card out partially (I had to dig into that tiny crack to get a good grip of the card to pull it out, of course I'm not very amused by this ordeal for having to stick my hand out even MORE in this wet weather to get my card.) the gentry did not move up to allow my car to get through!!!!!

GRHHHHHHH!! I tried reversing my car and repeating the "I-just-arrive-stick-cashcard-into-tiny crack-routine" and it din work!!!!

I got so super doper WEt and my car cant even get into the carpark! Sway I tell you!

Best is.... all this time while I was driving in and out of the carpark entrance... I noticed a white motorbike parked in the bus stop bay about 100m away, there was a campus security who was standing in the bus stop watching my car getting in and out of the entrance the whole time! Was the rain too heavy for him to see me? If I can see his bike.... its tough to acknowledge that he cannot see my car which is so much bigger... he might have noticed the "problem" with the car park gantry and might have chosen not to come over to do anything about it..... if that was the case, why in the first place be a campus security?

So I headed for another carpark about 500m away with longer walking distance to my lab in totally unsheltered walkway... and guess what? my whole entire bermudas was WET! good thing I use a back pack to shield rain coming down my back. The only dry part of me would be..... let me see......... my hair.... cos my face was already wet from the cashcard episode.

yes. the rain is super heavy!

see the pouring rain from the roof gutters? like an unstoppable tap! check out the white white background made of RAIN!

Its raining so hard that it felt like the skies are trying to say something. We are suppose to be experiencing a hot hot heat wave in this time of the year yet, the rain is pouring down heavier than it did in Dec. It poured soildly for almost 3hrs and guess what? my expt plants are swimming in rain... the drains are flooded!


We were so worried about our experiments, hope they dun get washed away in the rain......

thankfully the rain slowed down by midday and just continued to drizzle for the rest of the day. Which leads to a super cold lab! my berms were wet remember? So my only other choice instead of sitting on a wet bump is to change into my shorts meant for outdoor work on the grass..... and so my beautiful long legs get the full effect of the cold air and the cold aircon! Grrrhhh.... so cold!

Still, it felt as if the heavy downpour was to tell us something. Something which I din quite understand till late that night.

Had some conversations with a few friends and each arrive at their own conclusions with some unsettling parts, it reminded me of the same unsettling feeling I had earlier in the day when it rained and rained and rained. The good thing that came out of the rain.... all my grass were extra CLEaN the next day! ha ha ha...

All in a Day... II

One day, during lunch, I discovered a loot. yes a LOOT! it was so plain to see that its a loot... or unless it was paid for... but if you pay for it, would you use it like a rug? hmm..... *scratch head*

do you the logo very familiar? hee... I think it belongs to Genting Highlands's hotel....

On the same day, i saw 3 interesting sights in the car park....

Sight ONE: got motorbike kana wheel clamped.
hee... I've been curious about the different types of wheel clamps available. wow, this time can see it in action. Shiok!


there is one magic key that opens this lock... and the keyhole is....


Sight TWO: bird on car
this birdie seems to be having a whale of time, maybe its a better view without having to use any energy just by "hitching" a ride hee...


close up can see that this birdie is even standing on one leg! hee.... abit like kiao ka like that. so cute. cannot resist taking another shot at it.


Sight THREE: a row of cars along double yellow line
yah! how can right? one lonely motorbike parked in a space that does not obstruct any traffic kana punished. one whole row of cars blocking half the driveway?? NOTHING! aiyo... I tell you ah. sometimes its hard to understand the system!


all in a day....

All in a Day...

These days, many many things happen on the SAME day... so here's an attempt to try to recall some of these more interesting stories hee...

Once, while driving on the road, a very fierce looking car came up from behind and it looked very impressive. It took me a while to find out that its called Murano by Nissan. Since then, this car has never failed to look intimidating on the road. UNTIL recently, during a dinner conversation, a friend called it the Garfield car! ha ha ha ha... here's why....


The CaT


the CAR

very similar hor? hee hee....

then the two hungry folks went to search for FOOD! guess what we found?

yes the Kong Bak Bao!

We've seen it a few times, walked past it and always trying to resist the urge to buy it but it cost almost S$2! So ridiculous! But seems like the Great Singapore Sale is infectious, even the Kong Bak Bao has gone cheaper! ha ha ha....
here's the happy boy with his partial lunch....


Why did I say partial? because he also had BK, Macs, KFC, Chicken Rice... all in his thoughts hee....

then we spent a good part of the day cleaning the house, discussing videography, played with Baby A, talked about the recent PC Show and its goodies and finally Ad cooked DINNER!

Woah, his mussels were very well cooked! My personal favourite was to drink up the sauce!

He also perfected the Cesars' salad dressing!! yummy!

Cranberry juice was super delicious....

hmm... after eating desserts which was cooked by ME! heh... pulau hitam, which of course was delicious as well!

we chatted abit more before proceeding to something which we all enjoyed very much hee... yes MJ!!

Through the night, many high INTERGRITY games were played and this one was puzzling....

hee... yeah, must be very tired liao, if you dunno about MJ, we're to make 3 tiles of consecutive numbers together. so if you count each tile carefully, it reads 2, 3 and 5 from right to left. ha ha ha.....

we all laughed about it and continued the game.

THEN! this happened in another game!

woah.. this joker got 3 animals, 1 flower and one set of Big cards, super LIMIT liao! before he Pong the big cards, we were all warned NOT to throw any big cards for him. If anyone did that and he took the card, in the event that he self-draw to win the game.... the thrower will have to PAY for all. hee... after this BIG card was thrown, we all guarded our cards like crazy and that poor boy has no chance of gaming even though he had the biggest chances!

We all had a great time acknowledging that it was a good game trying to guard each other hee....

then in the last game... silly me had the chance to game with 2 doubles. But I thought that to make things more "exciting" I should prolong the game to try to increase my doubles hee... so I did not game when I initially had the chance to. instead, by allowing the game to go on, all other player's doubles went UP except MINE! aiyo.... I tell you ah, as the game went on, I can feel my heart cracking inside....

then the worse happened! I threw the winning card for a 5 doubles game!!! WAH PIANG EH! from winner to super loser! *SIGH*

so alot does happen in ONE day... hee....

Last chance to get NDP tickets! Hurrry

its ending soon! another 40mins to ballot for your NDP tickets online!

It'll be the last time it'll be held at the National Stadium before it gets demolished to make way for a new Sports complex.

The National Stadium was used in 1976 for the first time for Singapore's NDP, 30yrs later, it'll close its doors after its final NDP celebrations.

hurry!

SB = Secrets Bearer

yep... SB not longer refers to Sabo King (because he's long left our lab hee.... ) but its new meaning is Secrets Bearer.

yep... that's my new name. and perhaps my new job as well. its not very fun am still trying to get used to it and unfortunately this position has its perks at keeping me awake at night. if anyone knows a good way of unloading secrets without infringing on leakage of secrets pls let me know. I value my beauty sleep at night....

*panda eyed-me*

btw: many of these secrets are not MINE! ha ha ha... wont it be weird if one happy gal has loads of secrets to keep on herself??? ha ha ha....

btw-w: i'm still trying to figure out the invisible attraction or aura around me that seems to attract unloading of other's secrets on me, if anyone has any clue, please do let me know....