Listen with your heart not your mind

I had a breakdown in church yesterday because it had dawn upon me that i'm a bad listener....

yes, I am. I've failed to hear the gentle voices coming from the Holy One.

The day before my parents's trip to GZ, mum boiled soup and asked if I would like to go back and drink it. I said yes immediately. I could only drink the soup in the afternoon as I was suppose to accompany a friend to see a doctor in the late afternoon. As the timing for the whole consultation may take a long time, I did not want to make any promises to mum about dinner....

During the day, I learnt that my friend also got another friend to accompany him to see the doctor. Although I felt redundant upon hearing that, I wanted fulfill my promise of accompanying my friend. I did not want to be a fair-weathered person...

I reached parent's place, rushed to sort out the things for mum, helped her pack her medical bags and gave her the goodies that she wanted and bought her a windbreaker for the trip.

Dad was seated on the long sofa. It was a while since I had this opportunity to sit next to him and talk to him. Usually he'll be taking his nap or reading his papers. He was seldom "open" for conversations. I asked if he was ready for the trip and he replied there was nothing to be ready for or something along the line of not wanting to be ready for it. I felt strange about it and did not attempt to probe further as time was running out for me to settle things with mum and rush for the doc's appt.

Something in my head told me to talk to dad more, but I din do it. I ignored it and went on doing what I felt was right (at that time).

When I rushed to the clinic, my friend was not even there yet! yes, he was late for his own appointment. and very late somemore!

There was this sense of anguish in me. Wondering why am I more anxious than my friend..... but I kept reminding myself, that I have to fulfill my honor as a friend, to be with him. So I waited and waited. Finally, when he arrived, he wanted to see the doctor with his friend instead... I was happy to just be there physically to show my support. Yet, I had the feeling that I wasnt very useful in that scenario, if I had known, I would have stayed home and spent more time with Dad.

While waiting for my friend to finish his appt, I spent my time wondering if I did the right thing. Yes, I did feel redundant at the clinic. And questioned my presence there.

Was God trying to tell me something throughout the whole afternoon?

I really do not know.... then...

Yesterday in church, it suddenly dawn upon me that the tiny voice COULD be God telling me to do the right thing by being fillial first!

I had just missed the chance to spend the last few precious moments with my Dad, one whom I'll never be able to communicate again. :(

I'm sharing this because I do not wish for anyone else to make this mistake as I did.

Listen with your heart not your mind.

I hope that through this sharing, someone out there will continue to pass on the goodness of God, listening to Him, following His wishes. Remember that kinship is more precious than what we imagine it to be. It was God's planning to put us in the same family.

Monday, September 4

'Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.' Luke 6:37-38 NIV

moments