remarks and reactions

was sharing something with a friend recently, he told me something which stood out like a lamp-post on a dessert.

imagine if you have had migrains/gastric/terrible cramps constantly.

these are symtops which does not surface 24/7 but when it does, it severely disrupts our daily routine, sometimes even our long term plans for work/family/friends.

this friend took a closer look at me and commented that "you look so healthy to me, do not look like you are in any discomforts at all".

at that instant, I felt a sharp knief stubbing into my chest....

I cannot understand why would anyone want to be suspicious of me giving an account of what's happening and what's to come for me. Its not like I enjoy dumping time/effort/money in an area which no one likes.

another alternate view of the comments could be that this friend meant it to be a supportive/complimentive statement rather than having doubts.

well, either way, only the person who spoke it will know its true intentions.

This is a classic case of "speaking without harm, listening with intentions" (說者無意，听者有心)

whichever the case, I felt hurt for a moment, felt doubted for a moment, felt like a stranger for a moment. whether these negative feelings were more due to the comments or due to the not-so-good-mood that i was in at that point in time, i'm not sure. but it serves to remind me not to make such comments regardless of the situation to a person who just confide in me about his/her condition.

remarks can have its intented or unintended reactions....

we can chose how to react to whatever intended or unintended remarks either....