Marital Statistics

A few nights ago, ignited by a tv program on marriage and divorce, we started to do a count of those around us who are separated/divorce vs still married.

I'm always very amazed/frustrated at how quickly a person can deny another person's contribution towards a marriage when things go wrong. It always takes two hands to clap. A husband alone cannot break up a whole marriage simply because he is a workaholic or he goes out womanising. Isnt the wife suppose to be appreciative of her husband's hard work to provide for the family? Working life today is not as simple as it used to be, everyone has to fight for their own survival in the office, a small error can mean black mark against your records which can potentially be used against you during staff evaluation/staff trimming exercises. If a husband is dedicated at work, as long as he is honest and willing to share his working life with the wife, isnt the wife suppose to be supportive and rejoice in his dedication? Can it be a valid reason for causing the rife in the marriage?

If the husband is found to be womanising, besides his inability to stay monogamous, isnt the wife also partly responsible to drive him into the arms of other women?? Or can the wife just convieniently blame everything onto the husband?

Likewise, if the wife has a "change" of heart, doesnt she know that there is NO perfect men/husband out there? When she decide to marry this man, she should have all her doubts/queries about him, his bad habits, his secrets/desires all sorted out? Why wait after the perfect wedding to dig out all the dirt and spill them out as an excuse for displeasure??

Sometimes I wonder if the couple with issues ever wonder the effort all those around them made for them. Say for example, for their wedding, friends, relatives and family members are bound to attend/help out/ make it a memorable day for them. Have the couple ever considered how shock or heart-broken these people would be? How much time/effort/$$ they have spent on this couple? I've helped out in countless weddings and can definitely say that to make a wedding a memorable one, the amount of efforts that friends chip in are unimaginable. At times, just a word of thanks was given and that was all. Is it fair I wonder... for someone to take a whole day sometimes even two days off their free time to come and make this day a special one for you and then one can simply announce that they are not suited for each other. bye bye....

Hopefully, more couples who are facing issues, are willing to seek the right avenues for help, guidance to resolve their issues. I believe these jobs are better done by professionals who have been trained for years to do it and not allow unGodly influences to intervene.

Amazingly, we have a figure of 7 out of 30, 7 couples split up vs 23 who are still happily married (or we think...).

With that figure, we felt more assured that our world is not as warp as we thought.... =D