God has His Ways

have you ever been so bothered by something or someone that you are unable to sleep well at night or eat well in the day? Then out of the blue, you hear some wise words from a long "lost" friend or read a really awakening article in a magazine or book which you never thought you would pick up?

Recently, (maybe as a result of quarter-life crisis), I started to re-examine my friendships. I asked myself what qualities do I live for in a friend.

It was to be able to be totally honest with each other. It doesnt matter if I smell bad that day, or did an awlful thing but for my friends to be able to tell me in my face that "hey look, I really dun feel like hanging out with you today, can you like find your own program?" I'll be so totally overjoyed with it!

I dun care if we dun hang out every single free day that we have, just being able to be honest to tell me the truth is the best gift of a friendship that I can ever ask for.

Just as I was wondering.... this email came along:

What Side of Friendship Am I On?
by John Fischer


Yesterday I called on a couple friends I haven’t had contact with in some time and I am embarrassed to say that it was because I needed something from them. It was painful when I did this, but my need was greater than my pride. Still, I regretted it and what I realized most of all was how I regretted not being in their lives more. Fellowship, to be true fellowship, has to have elements of give and take. Otherwise we wear people out with ourselves.


I know people who wear me out—people who, when I talk to them, I only get a litany of their problems. I hesitate to pick up the phone sometimes because I’m not in the mood to listen to incessant complaints about this or that. But then I have to think: Am I like this? I’m afraid I am, much more than I want to admit. I wouldn’t be surprised if this is how my two friends reacted to my messages yesterday: “John, you wear me out.”


It’s been said before, but it’s so true, that if you want a friend, you have to be a friend. It also goes that if you need something from a friend, it’s nice to have something in the bank of that relationship for when you call on them.


Jesus said that everything that was taught in the law and the prophets could be summed up in what has come to be known more commonly as the Golden Rule: “Do for others what you would like them to do for you” (Matthew 7:12 NLT).


What would I like in this regard? I’d love for one of my friends to call me sometime and say: “Hey John, how are you doing? No really, tell me the truth, now…. Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Hmmm. I think I may be able to help you...” That’s what I would like, wouldn’t you? So, that means I need to call up a friend and be on the other side of the fence for a change. “How are you? No really, tell me the truth, now…. What can I do to help?” A good relationship doesn’t wear one person out; it wears well both ways.


I keep thinking I’ll be there for someone else once I get my own problems out of the way. And what if my problems don’t go away? Time to concentrate on being a friend instead of using one. If I’m there for someone, chances are someone will be there for me when the time comes, and the call won’t wear anyone out.

God has His Ways .... :-)